Have you ever been out camping? Or just sleeping outside for the night?
I have on many occasions, and one of the things I distinctly remember about it is the deep, thick darkness that accompanies the hours right before the sun rises. It is usually damp and cold, and those predawn hours can seem so long!
We've experienced this in a variety of ways and in a myriad of circumstances over the years.
As I noted in the past blog, it appears that Dan is going to get one (or both!) of the projects in Texas! In the meantime - things are pretty dark here. I keep reminding myself to hang on - the Sun will soon rise.
On Monday, our van broke down - again. It was towed just last week. We've become pretty good friends with the AAA people (being on a first name basis and all now.) We had just put $175 into it, plus a full tank of gas - when Danielle broke down in it this time. Thankfully, the van stalled in a safe place - just before a big hill and a busy intersection just 1/2 mi. from our house. She had forgot her phone - and ended up walking home. So...once again...our van is sitting in a lonely spot behind the mechanic's shop. I had to borrow Mom's car yesterday to get to my yearly job review, as Dan had two meetings in the opposite direction. It reminds me of days gone by!
Today - we must speak with someone in Legal Aide about a past due credit card account. This is the LAST of our creditors to be settled! (Quite an amazing thing - considering that we began with 17 seperate creditors and accounts six years ago. God is so good and faithful! I can never, ever thank Him enough! To date: 16 of these accounts have either been settled, rolled into our home mortgage, or we are currently making monthly payments on them.) Anyway - this account is strictly in my name, so I have been taking the brunt of these phone calls. I don't like to be critical, but this company has consistently been rude, calling many times a day and leaving me harsh messages like "Deborah Frederick - you must call this number NOW..."etc. Anyway I did speak in person to the person in charge recently, and her tone was sharp and her comments cutting. At one point, she asked me in a rude tone - "Why haven't you tried to settle these debts?" I almost started crying as I quietly told her - "You have no idea."
I am trusting the Lord to show us how to survive financially until the dawn comes.
When I think of Jesus night in the Garden of Gethsemenae, I can hardly bear it. How dark that night must have been. The writer of Hebrews gives us an insight into how Jesus bore it:
"Who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross..."
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Full Circle
Yesterday I was at work when I received two phone calls.
The first one was business: I have a yearly review by Carestar next week - the agency that I work for. The second one was more exciting! For months now, we have been awaiting word on whether Dan would get this work project in Texas. (there are actually TWO projects he has been working towards and hoping to get. They are actually located 6 miles from each other, in the same town in Texas. How ironic is that?) We are learning what it actually means to be patient - something you'd think a 46 yr. old has learned by now. Every so often (well, almost every day...) I'd ask Dan: "so...have you heard anything from Texas?" Every time, his unemotional response was the same: "You'll be the first to know".
True to his word, I was the first to know. It looks like he has landed BOTH of them! One is almost certain, the second is a close runner up. We are grateful beyond words! I honestly cannot even put into words the emotion that is running through me. It was all I could do to be a normal human being at work last night! I told my client the good news, as she and I have become pretty good friends this year, and after her congratulations and well wishes we went back to the normal routine. Inside - I was about busting at the seams though! I am so proud of my Dan. I am so grateful to my Lord!
Last night we had champagne. mmm...... it was wonderful sitting with my buddy and dreaming!
This morning, I wanted to read a Psalm of praise to the Lord - and so I flipped open to my favorite: Psalm 34. I don't know why I hadn't realized it before, but the day this Psalm became alive to me was noted in the margins of my Bible: Sept. 11, 2001. While Dan and I were on board a Royal Caribbean Cruise for our Anniversary, the twin towers fell. The whole day was surreal for us - the captain of the ship remained calm and reported the incidents as they were unfolding. Later the next day, reality really hit as some of the passengers on board realized that their co-workers back in New York probably were gone. We had a Memorial Service led by the captain. That is a service I will never forget, nor will I ever forget that feeling of helplessness that I had. We were way out in the Atlantic Ocean - our fellow Americans were suffering a loss like no other, and our kids were miles from us at home with friends and family.
I suppose that is why the words of King David in this Psalm meant so much to me.
"The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and He delivers them.....
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." vs. 7, 18
So here we are - almost seven years later - and these verses are still speaking clearly to me! Looking back, 9/11 was the beginning of our financial crisis. Yet today, we are once again given hope that the Lord is able to restore what has been destroyed in our lives. Even if Dan didn't get these projects, I'm finally learning the simple truth that God is still good....all the time....despite any circumstances that He has allowed. No, He is MORE than good - He is higher than anything else, holier than even our best imagination of Him, and more loving, faithful and merciful than words can ever describe.
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." vs. 19
Amen - thank you for your promises Lord!
The first one was business: I have a yearly review by Carestar next week - the agency that I work for. The second one was more exciting! For months now, we have been awaiting word on whether Dan would get this work project in Texas. (there are actually TWO projects he has been working towards and hoping to get. They are actually located 6 miles from each other, in the same town in Texas. How ironic is that?) We are learning what it actually means to be patient - something you'd think a 46 yr. old has learned by now. Every so often (well, almost every day...) I'd ask Dan: "so...have you heard anything from Texas?" Every time, his unemotional response was the same: "You'll be the first to know".
True to his word, I was the first to know. It looks like he has landed BOTH of them! One is almost certain, the second is a close runner up. We are grateful beyond words! I honestly cannot even put into words the emotion that is running through me. It was all I could do to be a normal human being at work last night! I told my client the good news, as she and I have become pretty good friends this year, and after her congratulations and well wishes we went back to the normal routine. Inside - I was about busting at the seams though! I am so proud of my Dan. I am so grateful to my Lord!
Last night we had champagne. mmm...... it was wonderful sitting with my buddy and dreaming!
This morning, I wanted to read a Psalm of praise to the Lord - and so I flipped open to my favorite: Psalm 34. I don't know why I hadn't realized it before, but the day this Psalm became alive to me was noted in the margins of my Bible: Sept. 11, 2001. While Dan and I were on board a Royal Caribbean Cruise for our Anniversary, the twin towers fell. The whole day was surreal for us - the captain of the ship remained calm and reported the incidents as they were unfolding. Later the next day, reality really hit as some of the passengers on board realized that their co-workers back in New York probably were gone. We had a Memorial Service led by the captain. That is a service I will never forget, nor will I ever forget that feeling of helplessness that I had. We were way out in the Atlantic Ocean - our fellow Americans were suffering a loss like no other, and our kids were miles from us at home with friends and family.
I suppose that is why the words of King David in this Psalm meant so much to me.
"The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and He delivers them.....
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." vs. 7, 18
So here we are - almost seven years later - and these verses are still speaking clearly to me! Looking back, 9/11 was the beginning of our financial crisis. Yet today, we are once again given hope that the Lord is able to restore what has been destroyed in our lives. Even if Dan didn't get these projects, I'm finally learning the simple truth that God is still good....all the time....despite any circumstances that He has allowed. No, He is MORE than good - He is higher than anything else, holier than even our best imagination of Him, and more loving, faithful and merciful than words can ever describe.
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." vs. 19
Amen - thank you for your promises Lord!
Monday, May 5, 2008
How Do I Love Thee, A.A.A.?
This has been quite a day.
Isn't it funny, when you look back at the beginning of your day, that you realize that the Lord was in control of the whole thing? That is such a basic truth, but I realize it anew often.
This morning, the coffee was extra good. I don't know why, but it was. After reading a while in my Bible, I was drawn to my handwritten journal of 2002 - 2004. (The beginning of "Living on Daily Bread") The memories were so sweet as I flipped through each page and remembered each individual card, momento and thought that I had scribbled. One particular entry especially made me smile - because the title of that day was: "Three Kittens and Three Kids". I'm sure I'll reference that story in this finished project - so I'll just summarize it by saying that it was all about God meeting our exact needs. Not too little or too much - but often exactly what we need!
Another entry at the beginning made me smile:
October 28, 2002
"It is hard to put into words the many thoughts in the heart! But fall short as they may, they chronicle our days; the joys and pains, the simple and complex events that comprise our days ~
It has long been a desire of Dan and I to journal events in our lives that have brought us a new awareness of God's presense in our everyday affairs. The way He cares for us, provides for our needs~ even the people He uses to bless us! (and how MANY there have been!)
Each event and person is so special to us, that we want to pass these stories on to our children: (thus far: Nathanael, Caleb, Zachery, Seth, Micah, Danielle, Jon-Mark and Michaela).
We NEVER want to forget God's goodness! It brings joy to our hearts each time we recall these times ~ times that have changed us forever as we have grown in our faith in the Lord.
"...for we walk by FAITH
not by sight..." II Cor. 5:7
Over the years, I have saved bits and pieces of items to help me recall these acts of kindness and now it is time to pull all the pieces together.
Over and over again in Scripture I see examples of men and women of God "remembering"...where they have been, how God has led them, protected them, provided for them supernaturally. Whenever I am doubting the Lord's presense in my life, it does me great benefit to remember.
May this journal of bits and pieces, words and stories; weave together a tapestry that remains a testimony of the Lord's faithfulness in our lives.
To HIM be the glory ~ both now and forevermore!"
I have been working on this in my mind - for many years now!
Little did I know that exactly 4 years later, to the day, Nathanael would marry his Jen and our family would be blessed with our first daughter in law.
Little did I know then, that Dan would be dianosed with cancer in 2005.
Little did I know then, that my dear Titus 2 mentor, would have a brain tumor and go home to be with the Lord.
Little did I know then, that we would leave our beloved Church family in 2006, and start all over again in a new fellowship.
Little did I know then, that we would still be struggling on so many fronts - but primarily, with Dan's job and the finances.
I didn't know it then, but in the years to follow - the Lord would continue to be so real to me!
Life comes at you fast, as the insurance commercial illustrates!
Having this time alone with the Lord this morning greatly helped the outcome of what the day would soon hold. I started my day peaceful, grateful and so full of hope. Mid-morning, I had the opportunity to talk about the Lord and His goodness with a couple of my girlfriends. Things were definately going well today.
Weeks ago, I decided to have a garage sale. (Sigh...I know - it's a crazy thing to do and a LOT of work.) But we all worked hard (including some of my faithful friends!!!) - cleaning, sorting and organizing some of the rooms of our house. My main goal was to CLEAN and declutter the house - getting it ready for Caleb's Open House later this month. Of course I was hoping to make a little money too. It rained (as usual) but we cleared about $200 - plus Dan traded our two old couches (I was asking $50 for the pair) for a working laptop for me! I was thrilled. Years ago he wanted to get me a laptop so I could write more - especially for "Living on Daily Bread". I feel like such a grown up now....lap-top and all. :-)
Well...as expected, everything didn't sell, so I boxed up 8 seperate containers of stuff to try to sell to the local thrift shops. I was packed to the max! I was alone on my errands today - which was unusual. Danielle had to work, Jon-Mark had guitar lesson, and Michaela wanted to stay close to home. About mid-way through our trip, I noticed that our 1992 Toyota Previa wasn't running too smoothly. (We've loved this van! It was given to us, with new tires! almost 2 years ago. She's run like a top. Well...sometimes a noisy top with the clanks and all - but I've been most grateful for her. Even without air conditioning or a radio. She's just good reliable transportation! Plus, she came at a time when we desperately needed a van. If you haven't been a "shut - in" - without transportation, you won't understand what I mean. But for weeks we had to borrow vehicles just to get to very basic places: the grocery store, Co-Op, work, etc.)
I prayed out loud that the Lord would enable the van to get me home. I was feeling pretty good about things, since I had sold most of my leftover things for almost $50.00. The Lord did get me home late that afternoon - but it was in a AAA tow truck with our van in tow. Just about 5 miles from home the van started sputtering, then lost all power, and died. I coasted to the side of the road, but it was a busy part of this road and cars were just flying by me. I couldn't start it again to get completely off. Good old A.A.A.!!! I called and they informed me that they would be there in an hour. Two kind ladies stopped to check on me: One in a Lexus, and one in a Sherriff's car. Because I could see poison ivy on the side of the road - I opted to remain in the van with the windows down for the hour. even though it was hot. Thankfully, I had purchased a bottle of water just an hour before, plus just a day ago, I had put a small New Testament in my purse! I was all set. I read in Philippians, prayed some, and enjoyed reading a cook - book that I had just purchased for $2 at the thrift shop! I rehearsed things I was thankful for...hmmm....I don't have a bunch of little children with me, we still have a working Honda Civic, The Lord is working out Phil. 1:5 in my life! The hour went by quickly and the couple that picked me up were so friendly and helpful. I enjoyed visiting with them, and they dropped me off at home.
We've been so thankful for God and A.A.A. The two have retrieved us out of many tough situations. We've driven old vehicles for years so our yearly dues have been well worth it.
While I was in tow, Dan had another conference call for these two pending jobs. Back in January we heard that a decision should be made around March 6th. It will be May 6th tomorrow (Funnel's 26th birthday!) - and we're still not sure what the outcome will be. But we ARE sure that God is still in control, and remains faithful to care for us each and every day!
Four of the kids played frisbee golf tonight, Michaela and I enjoyed some Monopoly, and we even managed to get some major yard work done with the kids. The girls and I watched one of our favorite shows "Jon and Kate Plus Eight"~ (a show that ALWAYS makes me laugh!) plus we enjoyed the meal that Danielle made in my absense: Jasmine brown rice and chicken with Stir fry veggies. mmm.....it's been a very good day. I think one of my favorite parts was walking through the front door and talking to Danielle. Her comment was: "Isn't it amazing that we were thinkng about giving that van to someone else if Dad got the project - and here it broke down for US and not them! " I like her perspective on life. I can see the Lord teaching her through her time in the Word. Yes, a good day. Even if my van is sitting in a lonely spot in the back of the Mechanic's shop awaiting her verdit tomorrow. Even if we need to come up with about $2,300.00 just to pay our bills these next two weeks. It is really the Lord I love, not A.A.A. He continues to amaze me each and every day. As I posted on my facebook account:
Life is good, because God is good.
Isn't it funny, when you look back at the beginning of your day, that you realize that the Lord was in control of the whole thing? That is such a basic truth, but I realize it anew often.
This morning, the coffee was extra good. I don't know why, but it was. After reading a while in my Bible, I was drawn to my handwritten journal of 2002 - 2004. (The beginning of "Living on Daily Bread") The memories were so sweet as I flipped through each page and remembered each individual card, momento and thought that I had scribbled. One particular entry especially made me smile - because the title of that day was: "Three Kittens and Three Kids". I'm sure I'll reference that story in this finished project - so I'll just summarize it by saying that it was all about God meeting our exact needs. Not too little or too much - but often exactly what we need!
Another entry at the beginning made me smile:
October 28, 2002
"It is hard to put into words the many thoughts in the heart! But fall short as they may, they chronicle our days; the joys and pains, the simple and complex events that comprise our days ~
It has long been a desire of Dan and I to journal events in our lives that have brought us a new awareness of God's presense in our everyday affairs. The way He cares for us, provides for our needs~ even the people He uses to bless us! (and how MANY there have been!)
Each event and person is so special to us, that we want to pass these stories on to our children: (thus far: Nathanael, Caleb, Zachery, Seth, Micah, Danielle, Jon-Mark and Michaela).
We NEVER want to forget God's goodness! It brings joy to our hearts each time we recall these times ~ times that have changed us forever as we have grown in our faith in the Lord.
"...for we walk by FAITH
not by sight..." II Cor. 5:7
Over the years, I have saved bits and pieces of items to help me recall these acts of kindness and now it is time to pull all the pieces together.
Over and over again in Scripture I see examples of men and women of God "remembering"...where they have been, how God has led them, protected them, provided for them supernaturally. Whenever I am doubting the Lord's presense in my life, it does me great benefit to remember.
May this journal of bits and pieces, words and stories; weave together a tapestry that remains a testimony of the Lord's faithfulness in our lives.
To HIM be the glory ~ both now and forevermore!"
I have been working on this in my mind - for many years now!
Little did I know that exactly 4 years later, to the day, Nathanael would marry his Jen and our family would be blessed with our first daughter in law.
Little did I know then, that Dan would be dianosed with cancer in 2005.
Little did I know then, that my dear Titus 2 mentor, would have a brain tumor and go home to be with the Lord.
Little did I know then, that we would leave our beloved Church family in 2006, and start all over again in a new fellowship.
Little did I know then, that we would still be struggling on so many fronts - but primarily, with Dan's job and the finances.
I didn't know it then, but in the years to follow - the Lord would continue to be so real to me!
Life comes at you fast, as the insurance commercial illustrates!
Having this time alone with the Lord this morning greatly helped the outcome of what the day would soon hold. I started my day peaceful, grateful and so full of hope. Mid-morning, I had the opportunity to talk about the Lord and His goodness with a couple of my girlfriends. Things were definately going well today.
Weeks ago, I decided to have a garage sale. (Sigh...I know - it's a crazy thing to do and a LOT of work.) But we all worked hard (including some of my faithful friends!!!) - cleaning, sorting and organizing some of the rooms of our house. My main goal was to CLEAN and declutter the house - getting it ready for Caleb's Open House later this month. Of course I was hoping to make a little money too. It rained (as usual) but we cleared about $200 - plus Dan traded our two old couches (I was asking $50 for the pair) for a working laptop for me! I was thrilled. Years ago he wanted to get me a laptop so I could write more - especially for "Living on Daily Bread". I feel like such a grown up now....lap-top and all. :-)
Well...as expected, everything didn't sell, so I boxed up 8 seperate containers of stuff to try to sell to the local thrift shops. I was packed to the max! I was alone on my errands today - which was unusual. Danielle had to work, Jon-Mark had guitar lesson, and Michaela wanted to stay close to home. About mid-way through our trip, I noticed that our 1992 Toyota Previa wasn't running too smoothly. (We've loved this van! It was given to us, with new tires! almost 2 years ago. She's run like a top. Well...sometimes a noisy top with the clanks and all - but I've been most grateful for her. Even without air conditioning or a radio. She's just good reliable transportation! Plus, she came at a time when we desperately needed a van. If you haven't been a "shut - in" - without transportation, you won't understand what I mean. But for weeks we had to borrow vehicles just to get to very basic places: the grocery store, Co-Op, work, etc.)
I prayed out loud that the Lord would enable the van to get me home. I was feeling pretty good about things, since I had sold most of my leftover things for almost $50.00. The Lord did get me home late that afternoon - but it was in a AAA tow truck with our van in tow. Just about 5 miles from home the van started sputtering, then lost all power, and died. I coasted to the side of the road, but it was a busy part of this road and cars were just flying by me. I couldn't start it again to get completely off. Good old A.A.A.!!! I called and they informed me that they would be there in an hour. Two kind ladies stopped to check on me: One in a Lexus, and one in a Sherriff's car. Because I could see poison ivy on the side of the road - I opted to remain in the van with the windows down for the hour. even though it was hot. Thankfully, I had purchased a bottle of water just an hour before, plus just a day ago, I had put a small New Testament in my purse! I was all set. I read in Philippians, prayed some, and enjoyed reading a cook - book that I had just purchased for $2 at the thrift shop! I rehearsed things I was thankful for...hmmm....I don't have a bunch of little children with me, we still have a working Honda Civic, The Lord is working out Phil. 1:5 in my life! The hour went by quickly and the couple that picked me up were so friendly and helpful. I enjoyed visiting with them, and they dropped me off at home.
We've been so thankful for God and A.A.A. The two have retrieved us out of many tough situations. We've driven old vehicles for years so our yearly dues have been well worth it.
While I was in tow, Dan had another conference call for these two pending jobs. Back in January we heard that a decision should be made around March 6th. It will be May 6th tomorrow (Funnel's 26th birthday!) - and we're still not sure what the outcome will be. But we ARE sure that God is still in control, and remains faithful to care for us each and every day!
Four of the kids played frisbee golf tonight, Michaela and I enjoyed some Monopoly, and we even managed to get some major yard work done with the kids. The girls and I watched one of our favorite shows "Jon and Kate Plus Eight"~ (a show that ALWAYS makes me laugh!) plus we enjoyed the meal that Danielle made in my absense: Jasmine brown rice and chicken with Stir fry veggies. mmm.....it's been a very good day. I think one of my favorite parts was walking through the front door and talking to Danielle. Her comment was: "Isn't it amazing that we were thinkng about giving that van to someone else if Dad got the project - and here it broke down for US and not them! " I like her perspective on life. I can see the Lord teaching her through her time in the Word. Yes, a good day. Even if my van is sitting in a lonely spot in the back of the Mechanic's shop awaiting her verdit tomorrow. Even if we need to come up with about $2,300.00 just to pay our bills these next two weeks. It is really the Lord I love, not A.A.A. He continues to amaze me each and every day. As I posted on my facebook account:
Life is good, because God is good.
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