(The following is a post that I began on my birthday a few weeks ago. I was distracted after I took a long bike ride, and didn't finish it. So...here it is - as often is the case - with my thoughts all over the place.)
If my memory serves me correctly, I will be celebrating my 49th birthday today! Happy Birthday to me. One year closer to seeing Jesus!
Yesterday, Malachi Preston, (aka - our dear little "fella") survived an invasive 8 hr. open heart surgery. I felt like I was holding my breath until I received Amy's text at 4:30 p.m. "He is all done with the surgery and they are closing him up. His heart is beating on its own! He is doing well despite having surgery. We may be able to see him in an hour or so. thanks for praying." Beating on its own. It's a miracle.
For some in the past few years, their miracle didn't come. It may seem strange, but in the past few days I've let my mind linger on the thoughts of those that have gone to heaven ahead of me. Especially those in the past four years: Dad, Krimson Hughey (24), Faith Thomas (6 weeks), Mammie (68 yr.), Jen's cousin, Corey (4 yr.) Jason Mansfield (22 yr.), Josh Gulvas (22), Sean (Funnel's boss - 22?), Chad Finnley (29), Ben Davis (29), Ryan Hickey (25), Kekeli Ayivor (4) and also my dear, Titus two friend, Vicky (58 yr. old) So many of those young men left this earth in the prime of their lives. Soon to join them (unless God intervenes) will be Sam Bish (9).
The dream weeks ago, about Keke, was such a gift to me from the Lord to remind me that heaven is a REALITY! We say it all the time, but it was like an "Aha" moment for me again. How wonderful it will be. In the midst of deep, searing grief, our souls can find hope and joy in what is to come.
As sad as it is for the families left here, the pain of this life is over for these loved ones. Someone once said that thru the pain of losing those that we love, we get a glimpse into the reality of heaven. I find much comfort in that today. Life is fragile, and it is temporary. These dear ones, loved by the Lord, were promoted.
It is good to walk with the Lord, thru the joys and sorrows of today.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Much Ado About Nothing
It has been weeks since I have been on here. Weeks since I have even thought about writing again. Everything has been happening. Nothing has been happening. "Much Ado about Nothing". (I know the book isn't about this subject, I just like the title).
Since I last wrote:
Several new babies have entered this world - Yea! I just love babies. It is new life at its' very finest hour! Welcome to our world: Tyler Fineley, Kaleb Thomas, Deacon Ericson and Maxwell Matney! Little babies - will be boys - will be men.
One little soul departed to his eternal home with Jesus. A funeral with a little, white casket is unnerving. Kekeli Ayivor left his mark on this world and I know that his life path certainly altered mine. Shortly after his funeral, I had a really vivid dream about him. Heaven was my home and I was walking around (that sounds so funny!) just being happy. All of a sudden, I saw this tall, handsome brown person walking toward me, with a smile as wide as his face. As he approached me, he held his hand out as he exclaimed quite loudly - "I'm Kekeli!" We embraced and then I woke up. Every time another one that I have known enters heaven, it makes it all the more REAL to me. I look forward to meeting Keke someday.
Currently, I am reading a book called "Becoming the Woman I Want to Be" by Donna Partow. I often misplace books and forget to finish them, so it is like finding a treasure when they turn up in an unexpected place. I had started this one twice before, and judging by the dates I jotted along the margins, I was struggling and rejoicing over some of the same things that I am today!
Part of the focus of the book is to become a woman that is thankful. I am taking that focus to heart and I am in the process of mentally listing things I am thankful for everyday. Here are my top ten for this day:
1. Summer breaks. Our Yellar is home from Boyce College and Michaela and Jon-Mark have finished their end of the year school tests. It's "officially" summer!
2. Our cat Gunner. He has become one of our favorite pets of all times. He is full of personality and so affectionate. I'm so glad I picked out a great Christmas present for Dan!
3. Logos Bible Church. The Pastors, the people, the things that I'm learning.
4. Impromptu Dates. Dan surprised me with a delightful one a few days ago! Not knowing where we were going, I dressed up (dress, heels, shawl). We went to Cap City Diner (crab bisque - need I say more?) and then to the theatre to see "Toy Story 3" in 3D! This was my first 3D experience. It was fantastic! We shared the theatre with 4 other people and I splurged and bought popcorn. Great movie! Great buddy.
5. Our Older Children. They make me laugh! (and cry sometimes).
6. Our Younger Children. They make me laugh! (and cry sometimes).
7. Our check balance. For the second year in a row, I have consistently had the funds necessary to pay our bills. THANK YOU GOD! If you haven't had the necessary funds available, you may not understand how wonderful this is!
8. Our new friends. Charles and Bernice, Adam and Ginger. You guys have blessed us with your lives, your laughter, your tears and your transparency.
9. Our pool. It has been in the 90's lately. Need I say more?
10. My bike. I have been out riding 8 times now. I'm riding between 5 - 11 miles either with Dan or Danielle. I love it!
Well, that's about it.
Wait, there is one more. I am thankful for this quote that was sent to me years ago:
"Love God and Do whatever you like". St. Augustine. I figure, if I am loving God, I will be loving the things He loves. If I love the things He loves (people, truth, character, etc.) then I will naturally learn to walk in a way that is uncluttered by rules and regulations. My heart motivation will be to live my life to the best of my ability and look forward to the day I'll be with Jesus forever.
Since I last wrote:
Several new babies have entered this world - Yea! I just love babies. It is new life at its' very finest hour! Welcome to our world: Tyler Fineley, Kaleb Thomas, Deacon Ericson and Maxwell Matney! Little babies - will be boys - will be men.
One little soul departed to his eternal home with Jesus. A funeral with a little, white casket is unnerving. Kekeli Ayivor left his mark on this world and I know that his life path certainly altered mine. Shortly after his funeral, I had a really vivid dream about him. Heaven was my home and I was walking around (that sounds so funny!) just being happy. All of a sudden, I saw this tall, handsome brown person walking toward me, with a smile as wide as his face. As he approached me, he held his hand out as he exclaimed quite loudly - "I'm Kekeli!" We embraced and then I woke up. Every time another one that I have known enters heaven, it makes it all the more REAL to me. I look forward to meeting Keke someday.
Currently, I am reading a book called "Becoming the Woman I Want to Be" by Donna Partow. I often misplace books and forget to finish them, so it is like finding a treasure when they turn up in an unexpected place. I had started this one twice before, and judging by the dates I jotted along the margins, I was struggling and rejoicing over some of the same things that I am today!
Part of the focus of the book is to become a woman that is thankful. I am taking that focus to heart and I am in the process of mentally listing things I am thankful for everyday. Here are my top ten for this day:
1. Summer breaks. Our Yellar is home from Boyce College and Michaela and Jon-Mark have finished their end of the year school tests. It's "officially" summer!
2. Our cat Gunner. He has become one of our favorite pets of all times. He is full of personality and so affectionate. I'm so glad I picked out a great Christmas present for Dan!
3. Logos Bible Church. The Pastors, the people, the things that I'm learning.
4. Impromptu Dates. Dan surprised me with a delightful one a few days ago! Not knowing where we were going, I dressed up (dress, heels, shawl). We went to Cap City Diner (crab bisque - need I say more?) and then to the theatre to see "Toy Story 3" in 3D! This was my first 3D experience. It was fantastic! We shared the theatre with 4 other people and I splurged and bought popcorn. Great movie! Great buddy.
5. Our Older Children. They make me laugh! (and cry sometimes).
6. Our Younger Children. They make me laugh! (and cry sometimes).
7. Our check balance. For the second year in a row, I have consistently had the funds necessary to pay our bills. THANK YOU GOD! If you haven't had the necessary funds available, you may not understand how wonderful this is!
8. Our new friends. Charles and Bernice, Adam and Ginger. You guys have blessed us with your lives, your laughter, your tears and your transparency.
9. Our pool. It has been in the 90's lately. Need I say more?
10. My bike. I have been out riding 8 times now. I'm riding between 5 - 11 miles either with Dan or Danielle. I love it!
Well, that's about it.
Wait, there is one more. I am thankful for this quote that was sent to me years ago:
"Love God and Do whatever you like". St. Augustine. I figure, if I am loving God, I will be loving the things He loves. If I love the things He loves (people, truth, character, etc.) then I will naturally learn to walk in a way that is uncluttered by rules and regulations. My heart motivation will be to live my life to the best of my ability and look forward to the day I'll be with Jesus forever.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
"I thought I was the one with all the answers..."
"...turns out, I'm the one with all the questions."
Quite a story goes with the quote above from a very dear friend of mine. She grew up as a Pastor's child, had what most would refer to as a "good quality life": a college education, a man that loved her and became her husband, followed by the blessing of three children. One night it all changed, as a mangled automobile became the place that her husband died. Of the three children that were with him, one was not expected to survive his injuries. But praise God, in the midst of such terrible tragedy, he did.
When life "blind-sides" us, much as the term refers to in a car accident, suddenly I think we can all relate to her quote. It's easy to think that we have things all figured out, until we come face to face with tragedy or unexplainable circumstances that threaten to unravel us to the core. The advice that we can so quickly spout off to a friend can be true, but why is it so difficult for us to apply these truths to ourselves when we're in the middle of a trial? You know some of them: "just trust God!" or "we all know that this is going to turn out for good", or "I know you'll be stronger through this trial". As another girlfriend of mine jokingly said, "I have plenty of faith for your trial, why is it I don't the the same faith for mine?" I think these are really good things to think about.
I'll add more to this line of thinking later. Today, I'm concentrating my focus on the one that truly does have all the answers, and it isn't me.
Quite a story goes with the quote above from a very dear friend of mine. She grew up as a Pastor's child, had what most would refer to as a "good quality life": a college education, a man that loved her and became her husband, followed by the blessing of three children. One night it all changed, as a mangled automobile became the place that her husband died. Of the three children that were with him, one was not expected to survive his injuries. But praise God, in the midst of such terrible tragedy, he did.
When life "blind-sides" us, much as the term refers to in a car accident, suddenly I think we can all relate to her quote. It's easy to think that we have things all figured out, until we come face to face with tragedy or unexplainable circumstances that threaten to unravel us to the core. The advice that we can so quickly spout off to a friend can be true, but why is it so difficult for us to apply these truths to ourselves when we're in the middle of a trial? You know some of them: "just trust God!" or "we all know that this is going to turn out for good", or "I know you'll be stronger through this trial". As another girlfriend of mine jokingly said, "I have plenty of faith for your trial, why is it I don't the the same faith for mine?" I think these are really good things to think about.
I'll add more to this line of thinking later. Today, I'm concentrating my focus on the one that truly does have all the answers, and it isn't me.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
"Therefore, We Do Not Lose Heart."
"Therefore, we do not lose heart." period.
It is Wednsday afternoon, 2/10/10.
As I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinet today, I found a treasure that I had forgotten about - a can of Italian Wedding Soup that I had purchased for myself and hidden away. I'm enjoying every bite of it right now as I sit and listen to another gem I found this week, my CD of Hymns produced by "Haven of Rest". Both of these are so soothing to my soul.
It's been a long day. I've been on the phone with Jim, spent time on the internet trying to find airline tickets to Nashville, plus submitted a story on Charles and Bernice to the Columbus Dispatch. (side note: I just found out that my arrival time and that of the twins coming from Ghana, is at the same time on Sunday night! I may finally get to hold those sweet babies!)
I chose to eat my wedding soup tonight in honor of my beloved friend Vicky, who I believe will be with her bridegroom tonight, or very soon. I can't believe the events of the past few days. The healing that we have all prayed for may not happen here - but rather in heaven. Bitter-sweet. For the first time yesterday, I allowed my mind to visit a place I had refused to go earlier. My friend may soon be with Jesus! I'm a mix of crying tears of joy and tears of sadness.
So many pleasant memories have flooded my heart these past few weeks. She, my Titus Two Woman, would never cease to smile when she saw me. She affectionately called me "Sweetie pie" or "honey bunny". She has given me advice on all kinds of things: herbs, decorating, home-schooling, parenting, being a dauther, mother, wife; but most of all, encouragement on how to be a believer in Christ. She led by example.
Why does Paul write to the Corinthian believers and tell them not to lose heart? In the previous verses he explains: (4:7 - 10)
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."
Vicky's "jar of clay" is almost unrecognizable as the Vicky I've known. I haven't been with her since mid-December, and even then, it was hard to comprehend what the cancer had done to her body. Another family friend is by her bedside now, and said that it is hard to believe what devastation she has endured. Nathan took a pic of her with a freshly, bathed Scarlett sleeping next to her in the hospice room, but Jim said it would not be posted for other's to see.
I'm so thankful that we can fully trust our Lord.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." II Cor. 4:16-18
2/11/10
The sun is starting to rise over the blanket of white snow that is almost blinding.
It is now hours later....I'm still waiting to hear..is Vicky with the Lord yet?
I was wide awake at 5:23 a.m. this morning. I think many of us are now begging the Lord to take our friend home, to indeed give her relief from her distress.
"Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.." Ps. 4:1
In the midst of our darkest times, it comforts me immensely that the day and night are the same to God. He is as close as the air that we breathe. As I was thinking of Vicky last night, memories of being with my brother as he died entered my mind. Death, it seems to me, is parallel to birth in so many ways. Like a women entering transition as she prepares to give birth to her baby, so it seems that those that are leaving this earth are also intermingled physically and spiritually in a transition. One's mind and spirit must focus on where they are going - what lies ahead. I know that Jim and Kermit (Nathan) had intentions of verbally telling her that it was o.k. to go now...that they would be fine. I think Jim said that he was going to tell her it was up to her and Jesus.
In the meantime - those of us here confined by human bodies and time go through the motions of life as best we can. I feel anxious, nervous and sad - but on the other end of the spectrum, I am SO excited for her, I can hardly stand it! As Paul reminds us in II Cor. 2:9, "However, as it is written; 'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived - these things God has prepared for those who love Him'".
2/11/10 Evening
As I was making last minute preparations before bed, I received the phone call I was anxiously anticipating, yet still dreading. "She went home to be with the Lord about 10 minutes ago. She is with Jesus now, her suffering is over." Jim's voice quivered, and then became strong. I thought of the verse I had been quoting in my mind so many times today:
"To be absent with the body, is to be present with the Lord."
Dear Jesus - she is with you!
2/12/10
After talking with Jim last night, it was decided that I would see if I could post-pone my flight until Sat. morning, so Jim and Kermit could get some rest, and begin to grieve in privacy. It couldn't have been any easier: a click here, a deleting there, and my flight was changed and I was issued a $40 credit! Thanks, Lord - He has a way of helping me when I'm so indecisive.
I'm still numb today. I finally was able to sit down and write a brief note about her on my facebook account. So many of my friends have faithfully prayed for her! I wanted to share with them what a wonderful friend she was. Here is my note:
In Memory of my friend Vicky ~
As I was packing my suitcase last night, anticipating my early flight this morning - my dear friend Vicky took her final flight to heaven. She passed from this life to the next peacefully with Jim and Nathan in the room with her. Although I am heavy hearted with many others right now, I am equally as happy knowing that her battle is over that she is face to face with her blessed Savior!
I used to call her my "titus two friend" and she affectionately called me "honey bunny" or "sweetie pie". She taught me important and serious spiritual truths as well as modeling for me beauty in the everyday: how it was important to have fresh flowers occasionally (even if we couldn't afford it) or how to redecorate a room by rearranging things and adding a few new pillows plus an inexpensive vase. Vicky Sue was the perfect southern belle! She always had time for me and would be the most gracious host, even if the kids and I dropped by unexpectedly. She answered hard questions, but wasn't afraid to say that it was o.k. to live with unanswered ones too. Whenever we would get together with the her family (Vicky, Jim and Nathan,who we affectionately named "Kermit") there would always be laughter. I will miss that laugh. More than anything, I think she showed me what a woman of faith looked like. Especially in the last year few years of her life, I observed a woman clinging to God in the midst of so many losses - her mother, her home to a fire, and eventually her health. I've learned so much from her and will miss her terribly.
Our loss is heaven's gain - so the saying goes, and I believe it is true. When I think of her, I honestly think of so many passages of Scripture - but the one that comforts and inspires me most today is found in Philippians 3:12 - 14. It's as if I can hear her voice in Paul's words before she left:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
You did press on, dear friend, and you have now received the prize! I praise God for your life!
2/13/10
I've decided to journal another day or two, before I post this entire entry. I'm working through the grief process like so many others at this time. I'll be leaving soon for the airport. I only slept about 2-3 hrs. last night...not sure why. This is a trip that will be good and yet hard.
Evening...
Made it! Scarlett (Vicky's sweet puppy) and I are sitting here finishing the Chipotle Kermit bought me for dinner. Jim and Kermit made it to church, which I think will be awesome for them. Because of Vicky's illness, Jim has been unable to attend for months. I think the guys are doing really well. Jim alternates between laughing and crying, which I think is healthy. He has recounted to me some of the painful moments in her last weeks of life. I can't believe I haven't shed a tear here (I think I'm all cried out.) When I was here in December, helping to care for her, it was so hard. She was in so much pain then. I'm so relieved she's with Jesus! He really has conquered the grave! Praise Him, someday the pain of this life will all be over.
I am reminded of her everywhere here ~ the decorating, her pantry staples that I organized for the guys (she introduced me to Almond butter - yum!), her stack of books and her beloved Bible. I held it close and thanked her for being such a wonderful, godly friend to me. Seeing her glasses touched me too as I pondered how Vicky saw the world. She tried to find beauty in so many things! Jim and I picked out an outfit for her to be buried in, which will be Tuesday. They found a small cemetary close by, and she will be buried without chemicals (embalming - I told him, is optional). I like that - it so fits her natural bent! He also told me that he is going to use a photo of her in her wedding gown, to be placed over the casket. What a wonderful idea - Vicky meeting her bridegroom! We must have been on the same page - remember me eating that Italian wedding soup? ; )
I'm so blessed to be here. It is a wonderful way to say good-bye to her. I will miss you, dear Titus-two friend, but will be with you again.
It is Wednsday afternoon, 2/10/10.
As I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinet today, I found a treasure that I had forgotten about - a can of Italian Wedding Soup that I had purchased for myself and hidden away. I'm enjoying every bite of it right now as I sit and listen to another gem I found this week, my CD of Hymns produced by "Haven of Rest". Both of these are so soothing to my soul.
It's been a long day. I've been on the phone with Jim, spent time on the internet trying to find airline tickets to Nashville, plus submitted a story on Charles and Bernice to the Columbus Dispatch. (side note: I just found out that my arrival time and that of the twins coming from Ghana, is at the same time on Sunday night! I may finally get to hold those sweet babies!)
I chose to eat my wedding soup tonight in honor of my beloved friend Vicky, who I believe will be with her bridegroom tonight, or very soon. I can't believe the events of the past few days. The healing that we have all prayed for may not happen here - but rather in heaven. Bitter-sweet. For the first time yesterday, I allowed my mind to visit a place I had refused to go earlier. My friend may soon be with Jesus! I'm a mix of crying tears of joy and tears of sadness.
So many pleasant memories have flooded my heart these past few weeks. She, my Titus Two Woman, would never cease to smile when she saw me. She affectionately called me "Sweetie pie" or "honey bunny". She has given me advice on all kinds of things: herbs, decorating, home-schooling, parenting, being a dauther, mother, wife; but most of all, encouragement on how to be a believer in Christ. She led by example.
Why does Paul write to the Corinthian believers and tell them not to lose heart? In the previous verses he explains: (4:7 - 10)
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."
Vicky's "jar of clay" is almost unrecognizable as the Vicky I've known. I haven't been with her since mid-December, and even then, it was hard to comprehend what the cancer had done to her body. Another family friend is by her bedside now, and said that it is hard to believe what devastation she has endured. Nathan took a pic of her with a freshly, bathed Scarlett sleeping next to her in the hospice room, but Jim said it would not be posted for other's to see.
I'm so thankful that we can fully trust our Lord.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." II Cor. 4:16-18
2/11/10
The sun is starting to rise over the blanket of white snow that is almost blinding.
It is now hours later....I'm still waiting to hear..is Vicky with the Lord yet?
I was wide awake at 5:23 a.m. this morning. I think many of us are now begging the Lord to take our friend home, to indeed give her relief from her distress.
"Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.." Ps. 4:1
In the midst of our darkest times, it comforts me immensely that the day and night are the same to God. He is as close as the air that we breathe. As I was thinking of Vicky last night, memories of being with my brother as he died entered my mind. Death, it seems to me, is parallel to birth in so many ways. Like a women entering transition as she prepares to give birth to her baby, so it seems that those that are leaving this earth are also intermingled physically and spiritually in a transition. One's mind and spirit must focus on where they are going - what lies ahead. I know that Jim and Kermit (Nathan) had intentions of verbally telling her that it was o.k. to go now...that they would be fine. I think Jim said that he was going to tell her it was up to her and Jesus.
In the meantime - those of us here confined by human bodies and time go through the motions of life as best we can. I feel anxious, nervous and sad - but on the other end of the spectrum, I am SO excited for her, I can hardly stand it! As Paul reminds us in II Cor. 2:9, "However, as it is written; 'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived - these things God has prepared for those who love Him'".
2/11/10 Evening
As I was making last minute preparations before bed, I received the phone call I was anxiously anticipating, yet still dreading. "She went home to be with the Lord about 10 minutes ago. She is with Jesus now, her suffering is over." Jim's voice quivered, and then became strong. I thought of the verse I had been quoting in my mind so many times today:
"To be absent with the body, is to be present with the Lord."
Dear Jesus - she is with you!
2/12/10
After talking with Jim last night, it was decided that I would see if I could post-pone my flight until Sat. morning, so Jim and Kermit could get some rest, and begin to grieve in privacy. It couldn't have been any easier: a click here, a deleting there, and my flight was changed and I was issued a $40 credit! Thanks, Lord - He has a way of helping me when I'm so indecisive.
I'm still numb today. I finally was able to sit down and write a brief note about her on my facebook account. So many of my friends have faithfully prayed for her! I wanted to share with them what a wonderful friend she was. Here is my note:
In Memory of my friend Vicky ~
As I was packing my suitcase last night, anticipating my early flight this morning - my dear friend Vicky took her final flight to heaven. She passed from this life to the next peacefully with Jim and Nathan in the room with her. Although I am heavy hearted with many others right now, I am equally as happy knowing that her battle is over that she is face to face with her blessed Savior!
I used to call her my "titus two friend" and she affectionately called me "honey bunny" or "sweetie pie". She taught me important and serious spiritual truths as well as modeling for me beauty in the everyday: how it was important to have fresh flowers occasionally (even if we couldn't afford it) or how to redecorate a room by rearranging things and adding a few new pillows plus an inexpensive vase. Vicky Sue was the perfect southern belle! She always had time for me and would be the most gracious host, even if the kids and I dropped by unexpectedly. She answered hard questions, but wasn't afraid to say that it was o.k. to live with unanswered ones too. Whenever we would get together with the her family (Vicky, Jim and Nathan,who we affectionately named "Kermit") there would always be laughter. I will miss that laugh. More than anything, I think she showed me what a woman of faith looked like. Especially in the last year few years of her life, I observed a woman clinging to God in the midst of so many losses - her mother, her home to a fire, and eventually her health. I've learned so much from her and will miss her terribly.
Our loss is heaven's gain - so the saying goes, and I believe it is true. When I think of her, I honestly think of so many passages of Scripture - but the one that comforts and inspires me most today is found in Philippians 3:12 - 14. It's as if I can hear her voice in Paul's words before she left:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
You did press on, dear friend, and you have now received the prize! I praise God for your life!
2/13/10
I've decided to journal another day or two, before I post this entire entry. I'm working through the grief process like so many others at this time. I'll be leaving soon for the airport. I only slept about 2-3 hrs. last night...not sure why. This is a trip that will be good and yet hard.
Evening...
Made it! Scarlett (Vicky's sweet puppy) and I are sitting here finishing the Chipotle Kermit bought me for dinner. Jim and Kermit made it to church, which I think will be awesome for them. Because of Vicky's illness, Jim has been unable to attend for months. I think the guys are doing really well. Jim alternates between laughing and crying, which I think is healthy. He has recounted to me some of the painful moments in her last weeks of life. I can't believe I haven't shed a tear here (I think I'm all cried out.) When I was here in December, helping to care for her, it was so hard. She was in so much pain then. I'm so relieved she's with Jesus! He really has conquered the grave! Praise Him, someday the pain of this life will all be over.
I am reminded of her everywhere here ~ the decorating, her pantry staples that I organized for the guys (she introduced me to Almond butter - yum!), her stack of books and her beloved Bible. I held it close and thanked her for being such a wonderful, godly friend to me. Seeing her glasses touched me too as I pondered how Vicky saw the world. She tried to find beauty in so many things! Jim and I picked out an outfit for her to be buried in, which will be Tuesday. They found a small cemetary close by, and she will be buried without chemicals (embalming - I told him, is optional). I like that - it so fits her natural bent! He also told me that he is going to use a photo of her in her wedding gown, to be placed over the casket. What a wonderful idea - Vicky meeting her bridegroom! We must have been on the same page - remember me eating that Italian wedding soup? ; )
I'm so blessed to be here. It is a wonderful way to say good-bye to her. I will miss you, dear Titus-two friend, but will be with you again.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
So This is What Love Is...
This Valentine's Day may turn out to be one of the sweetest I have ever experienced.
If all goes well, twins Elikem and Selikem (age 2) from Ghana, Africa, will board a plane in Accra and travel with a family friend to the bitter cold temperatures and twenty inches of snow in Columbus, Ohio. They will be here for one purpose, to finally be united with their family around the bedside of their dying 4 year old brother, currently being cared for in Children's Hospital.
Looking back two months ago, I had no idea the impact that this little family would have on my life. Back in November, I was immersed in the details of two other family friends that were also spending much time in Children's Hospital. Sophia Hope, who turned 2 just yesterday, has been battling leukemia since she was 9 months old. Another cancer fighter joined the place in August of this year, 17 year old Paula Winkler. She was anticipating a missions trip to Brazil with her family and unexpectedly found herself in the hospital beginning months of chemotherapy, also for leukemia. It was tragedy and hope that brought all these families together. Somehow, my family still healthy and intact, was blessed immeasurably as I became a part of all their lives.
Bernice and Charles Ayivor were also going about their normal lives in Accra, Ghana in the month of July. Their four year old son, Kekelia, came home from his last day of school with an unexpected and unusual problem; he was having trouble walking. Soon, his speech began to slur and his parents hearts began to sink. What could possibly be wrong with their active, vivacious little boy? No one could have anticipated what the next three months would hold for this young family. Keke would be admitted to a hospital in Accra with the diagnosis of a brain tumor. During the days, Bernice, now several months pregnant with their four child, would stay by his bedside as he suffered the effects of the tumor. For three months, she barely saw her then 18 month old twins. During the night, Charles would stay by his bedside in a modest, blue chair, often catching only a few minutes of sleep as he would lay his head on the foot of his son's bed. Keke shared a room with many patients, and so quiet and sleep was hard to come by.
Bernice's Father resides in Columbus, Ohio and works for O.S.U. Perhaps a Doctor in Children's Hospital would have the skills and necessary facility to help cure Keke? The little family made the agonizing decision of sending Bernice, Keke and his Dr. (who would return to Ghana immediately after the flight) in the hopes of finding a cure. Bernice, now less than two months from her due date with her new baby, would find the strength to stay at her son's bedside, and her beloved husband Charles, would continue to work as he could and care for their twins, or "tweenies", as they are lovingly called. The family was separated by an entire ocean - but did it all for the love they had for their Kekelia. Hope was high that a surgery could be performed, Keke recover, and Bernice fly home with him before the new Ayivor came.
Hope turned into saddness, as this young boy was placed in hospice care at Children's almost immediately. There was no surgery, no procedure, nothing that the Doctors here in the states could offer the heart broken family. From Oct. 31 until Dec. 14th, Bernice, and her father, hoped for the best at Keke's bedside. On Dec. 14th, little Klenam Ayivor made his entrance into this world - far from his natural homeland and his father, and twin siblings. Back home, visa's were applied for - by Charles and the twins. Charles arrived in Port Columbus on Christmas Day. He came and faced instant joy and sorrow as he met his newborn son for the first time, only minutes later to be at the bedside of his beloved and terminally ill son.
During those difficult days at Children's, Bernice found comfort and friendship with another family - Paula Winkler's family. It wasn't long before Tammy had placed Bernice's story on her caringbridge website - so other people could pray for these brothers and sisters in Christ that were so far from their home. And that is where I came in...first to correspond with Bernice via e-mail, then phone calls, and finally with a hug as we met for the first time. We marveled at how hope and tragedy came together to intertwine new friendships and bonds that will most likely, last a lifetime.
I have kept every message and e-mail from Bernice and Charles because I never want to forget this family, even when they return to their warm home in Accra. Our hearts have become bonded together first and formost, through our shared faith in Christ. I have been inspired by their strength and absolute refusal to complain, even though it seems they have a reason or two to do so at this time. They have shared their faith, their lives, their testimony and their hopes with us. We have typically had lunch together at the Ronald McDonald house on Fridays as I bring "Panda Express" in for all of us to enjoy. We've laughed over the cultural differences. (One day in November, very seriously, Bernice asked Tammy and I: "I must ask you a question: How long does this Winter last?" Tammy and I hated to break the news to her that our cold winter months were just beginning! I hadn't thought about the fact that they were unaccustomed to cold temperatures, let alone 20 inches of snow on the ground.) We've also become "facebook friends", and through that avenue, I've introduced her to many of my friends. Tammy has orchestrated a Baby Shower to be held for baby Klenam (recently rescheduled because of the inclement Ohio weather). We have come very close to crying together as we have pondered the outcome for Keke, if God does not choose to heal him. We have shared our mother's hearts and I have grown to love this beautiful woman as if I've known her my whole life. I am amazed at how quickly women, living lives thousands of miles apart, can have so much in common. On our last trip in, I gave her a turquise necklace and matching ear rings to remember me by when she returns home.
Today, a new crisis has arisen. 911 was called for Bernice yesterday to transport her to Grant Hospital, where she called me from today. Her rheumatism became so severe that the pain was out of control. I am praying that she is resting peacefully tonight, and that Charles is able to care for his newborn son with so many other responsibilities pressing on him.
In all of this, they have never complained. Charles said something like this: "I would have never chosen this trial for my family, but had it not occured, I would never have known the provision and kindness of God in our dire situation". It has been joyful to observe the body of Christ come together to help care for their physical and financial needs. It has been inspiring to observe the outstanding care that Keke is receiving at Children's Hospital. It has been heart warming to visit them at the Volunteer run McDonald Home, which has been their wonderful home, away from home.
As Charles and Bernice face their uncertain future here in the States, I can only imagine what must be running through their minds, especially in the middle of the night when they cannot sleep. Will their jobs still be there when they return? Bernice, an expert in three languages, has a job with the Government. Charles is a gifted artisian that creates and makes beautiful, custom leather sandles and shoes. We were delighted to see pictures of at least 50 of his creations! Months ago, he was employing eight workers as he ran one of the three custom shoe shops in Accra. He is now down to one employee. Hope is placed in God to help them daily, to provide for their physical and financial needs here, and that someday their life will be restored to some assemblence of normal once they return to their home in Africa. Everytime I am with them, our conversation always returns to their gratefulness - to God, to this kind country and to the body of Christ here in Central Ohio. I will never look at my "difficult" circumstances the same.
Just this past week, many of us were on the phone trying to make an appeal concerning a problem with the twins visa being denied (a long story - so thankful to report it was finally resolved). Resuming my normal school activities last Tuesday, I was reviewing some of the Ohio facts for my daughter. I came across our state motto: "With God, All things are possible". I wrote to Bernice that night and told her of our state motto, and my firm belief that she and her family were temporary Ohioians for a purpose. As I read her reply via e-mail that night, I could hear her beautiful African accent as she proclaimed: "I love it! Yes, we KNOW that with God, ALL things are possible."
Perhaps on Valentines Day this year, we'll see with our own eyes the reuniting of a family seperated by miles, but never by love.
If all goes well, twins Elikem and Selikem (age 2) from Ghana, Africa, will board a plane in Accra and travel with a family friend to the bitter cold temperatures and twenty inches of snow in Columbus, Ohio. They will be here for one purpose, to finally be united with their family around the bedside of their dying 4 year old brother, currently being cared for in Children's Hospital.
Looking back two months ago, I had no idea the impact that this little family would have on my life. Back in November, I was immersed in the details of two other family friends that were also spending much time in Children's Hospital. Sophia Hope, who turned 2 just yesterday, has been battling leukemia since she was 9 months old. Another cancer fighter joined the place in August of this year, 17 year old Paula Winkler. She was anticipating a missions trip to Brazil with her family and unexpectedly found herself in the hospital beginning months of chemotherapy, also for leukemia. It was tragedy and hope that brought all these families together. Somehow, my family still healthy and intact, was blessed immeasurably as I became a part of all their lives.
Bernice and Charles Ayivor were also going about their normal lives in Accra, Ghana in the month of July. Their four year old son, Kekelia, came home from his last day of school with an unexpected and unusual problem; he was having trouble walking. Soon, his speech began to slur and his parents hearts began to sink. What could possibly be wrong with their active, vivacious little boy? No one could have anticipated what the next three months would hold for this young family. Keke would be admitted to a hospital in Accra with the diagnosis of a brain tumor. During the days, Bernice, now several months pregnant with their four child, would stay by his bedside as he suffered the effects of the tumor. For three months, she barely saw her then 18 month old twins. During the night, Charles would stay by his bedside in a modest, blue chair, often catching only a few minutes of sleep as he would lay his head on the foot of his son's bed. Keke shared a room with many patients, and so quiet and sleep was hard to come by.
Bernice's Father resides in Columbus, Ohio and works for O.S.U. Perhaps a Doctor in Children's Hospital would have the skills and necessary facility to help cure Keke? The little family made the agonizing decision of sending Bernice, Keke and his Dr. (who would return to Ghana immediately after the flight) in the hopes of finding a cure. Bernice, now less than two months from her due date with her new baby, would find the strength to stay at her son's bedside, and her beloved husband Charles, would continue to work as he could and care for their twins, or "tweenies", as they are lovingly called. The family was separated by an entire ocean - but did it all for the love they had for their Kekelia. Hope was high that a surgery could be performed, Keke recover, and Bernice fly home with him before the new Ayivor came.
Hope turned into saddness, as this young boy was placed in hospice care at Children's almost immediately. There was no surgery, no procedure, nothing that the Doctors here in the states could offer the heart broken family. From Oct. 31 until Dec. 14th, Bernice, and her father, hoped for the best at Keke's bedside. On Dec. 14th, little Klenam Ayivor made his entrance into this world - far from his natural homeland and his father, and twin siblings. Back home, visa's were applied for - by Charles and the twins. Charles arrived in Port Columbus on Christmas Day. He came and faced instant joy and sorrow as he met his newborn son for the first time, only minutes later to be at the bedside of his beloved and terminally ill son.
During those difficult days at Children's, Bernice found comfort and friendship with another family - Paula Winkler's family. It wasn't long before Tammy had placed Bernice's story on her caringbridge website - so other people could pray for these brothers and sisters in Christ that were so far from their home. And that is where I came in...first to correspond with Bernice via e-mail, then phone calls, and finally with a hug as we met for the first time. We marveled at how hope and tragedy came together to intertwine new friendships and bonds that will most likely, last a lifetime.
I have kept every message and e-mail from Bernice and Charles because I never want to forget this family, even when they return to their warm home in Accra. Our hearts have become bonded together first and formost, through our shared faith in Christ. I have been inspired by their strength and absolute refusal to complain, even though it seems they have a reason or two to do so at this time. They have shared their faith, their lives, their testimony and their hopes with us. We have typically had lunch together at the Ronald McDonald house on Fridays as I bring "Panda Express" in for all of us to enjoy. We've laughed over the cultural differences. (One day in November, very seriously, Bernice asked Tammy and I: "I must ask you a question: How long does this Winter last?" Tammy and I hated to break the news to her that our cold winter months were just beginning! I hadn't thought about the fact that they were unaccustomed to cold temperatures, let alone 20 inches of snow on the ground.) We've also become "facebook friends", and through that avenue, I've introduced her to many of my friends. Tammy has orchestrated a Baby Shower to be held for baby Klenam (recently rescheduled because of the inclement Ohio weather). We have come very close to crying together as we have pondered the outcome for Keke, if God does not choose to heal him. We have shared our mother's hearts and I have grown to love this beautiful woman as if I've known her my whole life. I am amazed at how quickly women, living lives thousands of miles apart, can have so much in common. On our last trip in, I gave her a turquise necklace and matching ear rings to remember me by when she returns home.
Today, a new crisis has arisen. 911 was called for Bernice yesterday to transport her to Grant Hospital, where she called me from today. Her rheumatism became so severe that the pain was out of control. I am praying that she is resting peacefully tonight, and that Charles is able to care for his newborn son with so many other responsibilities pressing on him.
In all of this, they have never complained. Charles said something like this: "I would have never chosen this trial for my family, but had it not occured, I would never have known the provision and kindness of God in our dire situation". It has been joyful to observe the body of Christ come together to help care for their physical and financial needs. It has been inspiring to observe the outstanding care that Keke is receiving at Children's Hospital. It has been heart warming to visit them at the Volunteer run McDonald Home, which has been their wonderful home, away from home.
As Charles and Bernice face their uncertain future here in the States, I can only imagine what must be running through their minds, especially in the middle of the night when they cannot sleep. Will their jobs still be there when they return? Bernice, an expert in three languages, has a job with the Government. Charles is a gifted artisian that creates and makes beautiful, custom leather sandles and shoes. We were delighted to see pictures of at least 50 of his creations! Months ago, he was employing eight workers as he ran one of the three custom shoe shops in Accra. He is now down to one employee. Hope is placed in God to help them daily, to provide for their physical and financial needs here, and that someday their life will be restored to some assemblence of normal once they return to their home in Africa. Everytime I am with them, our conversation always returns to their gratefulness - to God, to this kind country and to the body of Christ here in Central Ohio. I will never look at my "difficult" circumstances the same.
Just this past week, many of us were on the phone trying to make an appeal concerning a problem with the twins visa being denied (a long story - so thankful to report it was finally resolved). Resuming my normal school activities last Tuesday, I was reviewing some of the Ohio facts for my daughter. I came across our state motto: "With God, All things are possible". I wrote to Bernice that night and told her of our state motto, and my firm belief that she and her family were temporary Ohioians for a purpose. As I read her reply via e-mail that night, I could hear her beautiful African accent as she proclaimed: "I love it! Yes, we KNOW that with God, ALL things are possible."
Perhaps on Valentines Day this year, we'll see with our own eyes the reuniting of a family seperated by miles, but never by love.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Character of God
There is no way that any mere mortal can begin to write about the character of God with any accuracy. I would only like to say that in the midst of trying times, it brings me great comfort to think often about His character, and less about the circumstances with which I, my friends, family or other humans around the world are dealing with.
Vividly I remember the Tsunami that claimed the lives of 29,000 people about six years ago. I am not sure why, but that event really broke my heart. We knew some college students that lived in that area, and one young woman was even in India at the time of the tragedy. Thankfully, she e-mailed us quickly telling about her safety. But the images of the children, parents crying, death and destruction littered everywhere - will always remain with me. I couldn't understand such devastation on such a large scale. It was then that the Lord began to softly touch my heart with the realities of His character, through the reading of His Word and through the testimonies of other believers. The Holy Spirit began teaching me about His righteous, loving, compassionate, merciful, faithful, trustworthy, holy and just character. Through the testimonies of others, I saw humans bearing out the truth of God's character in the midst of their most trying circumstances.
I'm thinking of that now as I read of Haiti and the consequences of this horrific earthquake. I can't understand such devastation on such a large scale, but I can spend time in the Word and leave all these things I don't understand with Him.
I cannot understand why my little friend has leukemia, or why a mere child should lay in a hospital with a brain tumor. I don't understand why breast cancer has the power to devastate so many women's lives.
But - either God is who He says He is, or He is not. I choose to believe God is exactly who He says He is.
I put my complete faith in the one that has it all under control, especially in this fallen world.
Someday, His Word promises that every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that He is Lord. He promises to wipe away every tear. I look forward to that day.
For now, we walk by faith and not by sight.
Vividly I remember the Tsunami that claimed the lives of 29,000 people about six years ago. I am not sure why, but that event really broke my heart. We knew some college students that lived in that area, and one young woman was even in India at the time of the tragedy. Thankfully, she e-mailed us quickly telling about her safety. But the images of the children, parents crying, death and destruction littered everywhere - will always remain with me. I couldn't understand such devastation on such a large scale. It was then that the Lord began to softly touch my heart with the realities of His character, through the reading of His Word and through the testimonies of other believers. The Holy Spirit began teaching me about His righteous, loving, compassionate, merciful, faithful, trustworthy, holy and just character. Through the testimonies of others, I saw humans bearing out the truth of God's character in the midst of their most trying circumstances.
I'm thinking of that now as I read of Haiti and the consequences of this horrific earthquake. I can't understand such devastation on such a large scale, but I can spend time in the Word and leave all these things I don't understand with Him.
I cannot understand why my little friend has leukemia, or why a mere child should lay in a hospital with a brain tumor. I don't understand why breast cancer has the power to devastate so many women's lives.
But - either God is who He says He is, or He is not. I choose to believe God is exactly who He says He is.
I put my complete faith in the one that has it all under control, especially in this fallen world.
Someday, His Word promises that every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that He is Lord. He promises to wipe away every tear. I look forward to that day.
For now, we walk by faith and not by sight.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A Change of Plans -
How often has God completely changed your plans - put you on a completely different course? I know it has happened to us all.
This year there have been many such "change of plans" for some of my girlfriends. Just moving along, following their own business, living their lives, and BOOM - a huge change of plans. A diagnosis of a baby's leukemia, across the ocean in Africa, another diagnosis of a little boys brain tumor, a vibrant, 17 yr. old girl told- you have leukemia - a baby born with a heart defect requiring many future surgeries, and a diagnosis of breast cancer for a woman that is just starting a new chapter of her life at the enjoyable age of 58.
I don't know why God diverts our course, I only know that His way is perfect and we can rest in that even as we struggle to come to grips with the new circumstances in our lives. Just this past week, Sophia was awaiting a big test result that would show if the leukemia had returned. If it had, that would be devastating. It just so happened this was the day that I was to have lunch with Charles and Bernice. As they walked across the room to me, one of their first questions was, "How is Sophia, and Ginger"? Happily, I told them that the results came back with NO blasts - a huge praise - as the oncologist has told them to pray for a miracle! Both of these dear people were overcome with praise to the Lord for this wonderful news. Bernice put her hands in the air - "Praise God, oh , Praise God!" I was so touched by this couple. They are in the midst of severe trials of their own, yet they set that aside and genuinely rejoiced over good test results for another brother and sister in Christ. How can they do that? It is all God, they tell me.
Even in the middle of a change of plans - some things never change:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." He knows. Nothing is taking Him by surprise nor is anything out of His control.
We also are not seperated by His love as promised in Rom. 8:31 - 39.
I'm so comforted by that today. My small change of plans this morning resulted in an unexpected, sweet time alone with Him. (sometimes, when I cannot sleep, I give in to the plan God has for me at that moment. I can practice resting in Him and seek Him in prayer, for myself and others). There is no noise in this otherwise noisy home at the moment, save for worship music playing in the background and a wild kitten chasing paper balls here and there. I have had tears streaming down my face as I have reflected on God's faithfulness and love, so evident in lives of these friends listed above. Tears of joy intermingled with tears of longing for resolution and relief from pain for my dear brothers and sisters in Christ.
I'll copy and paste a message I just sent to some of them on Facebook - and remind myself not to fear any "change of plan" the Lord allows in my life.
Debbie Frederick January 17 at 11:33am
Change of plans - I'm home from church (with a migraine I woke up to at 6) and kind of "down for the count". At least the fourth round or so. I wanted to write something to you before I forget...I think of you as my "five fab" - my five girlfriends that are fabulous! I almost always pray for you at similar times.
I had just finished writing the "update" on all of you on my FB site, and I went to leave and reached in my pocket to a little crumpled piece of paper. I remembered that I had Panda Express with you (Bernice) and hadn't read my "fortune" from my cookie. I'm not a big believer in Panda's predictions for my future, or anyone elses - but guess what it said? "If you have HOPE, you have everything". I'll take it!
I am praying hope for each of you - as we know where it comes from - GOD!
Also flipped open to Romans 8:31-39 this morning. It starts and ends with: "What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ....
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
AMEN! Even when you are seperated from others, your loved ones, your "normal circumstances" - you are NEVER seperated from the Love of God!
I miss you all - looking forward to seeing you all again.
(April - sorry, I did have some food ready but didn't have the presense of mind to send it with Dan this morning. Perhaps we can swing by tonight? Praying for your sore muscles from moving!)
love to you all -
Debbie
This year there have been many such "change of plans" for some of my girlfriends. Just moving along, following their own business, living their lives, and BOOM - a huge change of plans. A diagnosis of a baby's leukemia, across the ocean in Africa, another diagnosis of a little boys brain tumor, a vibrant, 17 yr. old girl told- you have leukemia - a baby born with a heart defect requiring many future surgeries, and a diagnosis of breast cancer for a woman that is just starting a new chapter of her life at the enjoyable age of 58.
I don't know why God diverts our course, I only know that His way is perfect and we can rest in that even as we struggle to come to grips with the new circumstances in our lives. Just this past week, Sophia was awaiting a big test result that would show if the leukemia had returned. If it had, that would be devastating. It just so happened this was the day that I was to have lunch with Charles and Bernice. As they walked across the room to me, one of their first questions was, "How is Sophia, and Ginger"? Happily, I told them that the results came back with NO blasts - a huge praise - as the oncologist has told them to pray for a miracle! Both of these dear people were overcome with praise to the Lord for this wonderful news. Bernice put her hands in the air - "Praise God, oh , Praise God!" I was so touched by this couple. They are in the midst of severe trials of their own, yet they set that aside and genuinely rejoiced over good test results for another brother and sister in Christ. How can they do that? It is all God, they tell me.
Even in the middle of a change of plans - some things never change:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." He knows. Nothing is taking Him by surprise nor is anything out of His control.
We also are not seperated by His love as promised in Rom. 8:31 - 39.
I'm so comforted by that today. My small change of plans this morning resulted in an unexpected, sweet time alone with Him. (sometimes, when I cannot sleep, I give in to the plan God has for me at that moment. I can practice resting in Him and seek Him in prayer, for myself and others). There is no noise in this otherwise noisy home at the moment, save for worship music playing in the background and a wild kitten chasing paper balls here and there. I have had tears streaming down my face as I have reflected on God's faithfulness and love, so evident in lives of these friends listed above. Tears of joy intermingled with tears of longing for resolution and relief from pain for my dear brothers and sisters in Christ.
I'll copy and paste a message I just sent to some of them on Facebook - and remind myself not to fear any "change of plan" the Lord allows in my life.
Debbie Frederick January 17 at 11:33am
Change of plans - I'm home from church (with a migraine I woke up to at 6) and kind of "down for the count". At least the fourth round or so. I wanted to write something to you before I forget...I think of you as my "five fab" - my five girlfriends that are fabulous! I almost always pray for you at similar times.
I had just finished writing the "update" on all of you on my FB site, and I went to leave and reached in my pocket to a little crumpled piece of paper. I remembered that I had Panda Express with you (Bernice) and hadn't read my "fortune" from my cookie. I'm not a big believer in Panda's predictions for my future, or anyone elses - but guess what it said? "If you have HOPE, you have everything". I'll take it!
I am praying hope for each of you - as we know where it comes from - GOD!
Also flipped open to Romans 8:31-39 this morning. It starts and ends with: "What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ....
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
AMEN! Even when you are seperated from others, your loved ones, your "normal circumstances" - you are NEVER seperated from the Love of God!
I miss you all - looking forward to seeing you all again.
(April - sorry, I did have some food ready but didn't have the presense of mind to send it with Dan this morning. Perhaps we can swing by tonight? Praying for your sore muscles from moving!)
love to you all -
Debbie
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