Waiting on baby Frederick!

It's Thursday morning,  May 9th. 
 Last night was restless, so say the least.  At 12:40 p.m. yesterday, Wednesday, I received this message from Nathanael:   "We're packing to go to the hospital.  We may have a baby tonight!"  We are trying to carry on a normal life without sharing out wonderful secret!  Because the baby's mother will have 72 hours to make her final decision regarding adoption, we wait and pray.  For Funnel and Jen, for the baby's mother, and of course for our hoped for grand-baby.

 Years of anticipating, months of planning, weeks of disappointment and joy, and days and nights filled with wondering.  In God's perfect way, in His perfect time, He has brought a son to our son and his wife!

Nathanael and Jen welcomed Owen Daniel Frederick into their hearts and hands this morning at 5:14 a.m., weighing in at a healthy 8 lbs. and 12 oz.  I am told he has fuzzy blond hair and is the sweetest little guy on the earth!  Owen will always have two mothers:  His  brave mother that carried him for 9 months and gave him life, and  Jen (and Funnel) who will love and raise him in his forever, adopted family.  Nathanael celebrated his 31st birthday just 3 days ago, and Jen will be celebrating Mother's Day this Sunday in the most profound way!  I cannot think of a better gift for the two of them!  Just a few days earlier, without any idea this was going to happen, I had purchased Jen (and Amy) a basket of flowers for Mother's Day.  I placed Jen's on her porch on Tuesday evening, having no idea that such big news was coming in less than 24 hours. 

There are no words.  There is only a lump in my throat and a swelling in my heart with joy and thankfulness to God!  I am grateful to Owen's mother, who had the courage, strength and fortitude to carry this precious life, so we could welcome him into the Frederick family. I am thankful that God Himself placed within Nathanael and Jen's heart the desire to adopt, and that He also gave them the strength and fortitude to pursue it, even though there were many difficult days and restless nights.

 Looking back, Jen made the announcement that they had made the official decision to adopt on Sept. 12th, 2012.  She wrote:  

"Funnel and I are going to be adopting!
We are so excited about this next chapter of our lives and can’t wait to meet our first little Frederick!
I will fill you in later on all the details…. what has led us to this point, what kind of adoption we are doing, timeframe, etc.  But for now I wanted to just share our happy news!"

How amazing to think that baby Owen, whom God has known since before time, was a tiny baby in his mother's womb, just a few weeks old, developing...and his heart had begun to beat.  God had already placed within Jen and Funnel a heartbeat toward adoption, and unknown to anyone but God, their hearts were beating together. Who knew that they would meet each other for the first time in the wee hours of the morning of May 9th?  I am still in awe of a God that would bring this about in His own way, in His own time.  (Add an "e" and we have our Owen!)

We have waited so long...Dan and I cannot wait to meet Owen, welcome him into his grandparents arms and love him forever.  We echo the words of King David in Psalm 139, as we marvel at this precious gift of life!

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Ps. 139:13-16

Friday morning, May 10th
We are still having a hard time believing this is all happening!
My heart is so divided today, as I think about Owen's birth mom, and his soon-to-be adopted Mom, Jen.  I know that his birth-mom must be  going thru many post partum things now, so throw in all the emotional elements and I can only imagine what she is going thru.  She and Jen and front and center in my prayers, many times each hour.  Last I heard from Funnel, Owen's birth-mom will be saying "good-bye" to them today.   The adoption will not be official until the 72 hour mark, when the birth mother and the adoptive parents sign the papers.  Our prayers are for God's perfect will to be done, whatever that is.  I remain forever grateful to her for choosing life, and remain so proud of Jen and Funnel for having the courage to grow their family thru this wonderful thing called adoption.

Grandpa Craig and Grandma Sue Immel are driving up to meet Owen today!  I'm so excited for them...and so excited for our meeting him tomorrow morning.  If Dan is still feeling o.k. (Grandpa has been a bit under the weather...) we hope to go see the three of them.  Owen is a starting out as a "Buckeye", being born at O.S.U. hospital, which is a bit bittersweet because that is the hospital where Amy delivered Eliana.  We have some tough memories there, as we cried with Caleb and Amy and said "hello" and "good-bye" on that dreary, rainy night on November 21st, 2011.   Life and death...an unending circle in which we rely on our unchanging and faithful Lord.

Still not much sleep going on around here...haha.  Funnel said they hope to get a good nights sleep at home tonight, and I reminded him to enjoy it, as it may be there last!

Saturday evening, May 11th
We held our very first grandson!  Owen Daniel Frederick is certifiably cute in every way!

We drove into O.S.U. Hospital  anticipating some happy memories to replace our sad ones.  (Actually - we do have one happy memory there now...Bernice and Charles had their twins there!)   Funnel met Dan, the girls and I in the lobby and took us upstairs.  Because they don't have a room for Owen, they have given them a space in the corner of a waiting room.  As we came around the corner and I caught my first glimpse of Jen holding him, I could tell that her cheeks were red and her eyes teary.  In an instance, I looked just like her, and held her close before I held Owen.  It was such a sweet moment that I will remember always!  She placed our first grandson in my arms and it felt SO wonderful.   (And even now, it tears me up.  I think it is because in that moment I missed Eliana so very badly, and yet felt such joy for the gift of Owen.  I was feeling extreme emotions for both couples, who we love so much.)   It was so much fun to give them the boy outfits we had picked out for Owen, and then watch him be loved on so much by his parents, Dan (Grandpa) and his adoring Aunt Baila and Danielle'.  Owen is in good hands. ; )

This is still sinking in slowly.  Nathanael and Jen may be bringing home their very first son tomorrow morning!  We still await on the "official" passing of the 72 hour mark. I cannot get Owen't birth mom out of my mind, and continue to pray for her often.  Nathanael and Jen said they immediately connected with her, and even a labor and delivery nurse was surprised to find out that they had just met that day.  They have told me a little about her and I was able to see the picture of the four of them after Owen was born.  This is all such an amazing thing to go thru, and I am seeing so many parallels to this and to salvation, God's adoption of us.

What grace.  What an amazing gift.

"While You Were Sleeping...."

“While You Were Sleeping…”

I love that movie!  So many exciting things going on around here that are unknown to the family, especially Danielle’.   I thought the title fit the season perfectly.

This is about our lovely and unique daughter, Danielle'.  I'm going to write this for her, while she is sleeping.  She often goes to bed hours before I do because she is up before the sun rises and takes off for work and school way before I even get up. That girl's work ethic is off the charts.

She is our first girl, the absolute delight of Dan and I!  I will never forget the day she was born, her first fall, first dance, first heart-break....you know.  : ) The past few years have held some challenges for her as she has been embarking on this journey to become a young woman of God. Sometimes I want to burst with joy and other days I just cry because I remember the pain of those years.

For the past seven months, we have been noticing a handsome young man hanging around here more often.  She's been flying out the door to see him, go on dates with him and generally just get to know this guy.  Nathan Smith (although Dan still refers to him as "the boy") has become more and more a part of my heart these past few months. As the crow flies, he lives about one mile away.  If you drive there, it is a long two mile drive.  Danielle's good friend,  Laria, introduced the two of them months ago perhaps thinking there may be a "match" there?   It's so crazy...they have grown up for years so close geographically, and yet never met.  The more we get to know each other, the more we realize we have many common threads between us already.  At the age of 10 or so, they were both at the wedding of our common friend, Miss Rebeccah Rohrbaugh.  In Nathan's parents Sunday school class; we have common friends of many years, Don and Mary Ann Slaughter.  Their family also knows the Newtons – another common bond!  We've picked up pizzas at Villa in Johnstown, for years. Nathan has been working there for 6 years, having just left his job as manager last month for a new job with Verizon.  They both love the Lord and want to serve Him, which has been the best and most wonderful thing to witness!  We've prayed and talked and dreamed about her future husband.  I think we may know who we've prayed for all these years!

November 13th, Tues.   We finally had the chance to have Nathan's parents over for dinner!  Rick and Tami felt like "old" friends in our living room as we were relaxing after dinner.  We talked of anything, everything.  Our faith, our families - those two kids of ours.  Tami brought two apple pies over and I think that sealed the "future marriage deal" for Dan, haha.

So Danielle, following I'll be doing a little journaling of things going on "While You Were Sleeping..." I’ll print this off and let you read it once you are officially engaged!

November 17th, Sat.  Today has been a pretty big day.  Nathan came over and the Buckeye's won!   But something else kind of big happened. The week before, Dad had sent a text to Nathan asking if he would help him carry out a surprise for your birthday.  He bought a new car stereo system for you and wondered if Nathan would install as a surprise to you! Earlier this morning, Nathan sent a text to Dad asking if he could come over and talk to him.  Hmmm...Was this about more than the upcoming installation plans?  When he arrived, he and Dad went down to his office.  Well...it was about the stereo, and a bit more.  He asked Dad if he could marry you! After some serious discussion, Dad said yes. ; )  Nathan told Dad that he has already purchased an engagement ring for you (whoa...) and that his plan is to propose to you in Colorado while we are on our family vacation!  Goodness.  He left with a hug from us, and a promise that we wouldn't tell you that he had already come that morning. I sent him a text a couple hours later that said:  "So...you wanted to talk to Dan about more than just car stereos, huh?"  I congratulated him and told him I would keep his secret.   When he showed up for the Buckeye game that afternoon, "mum" was the word.  While you, Michaela and I were in the kitchen with him, he came over by the stove and non-chalantly showed me the picture of the engagement ring he had in his possession.  Goodness, again. It didn't look anything like the rings you have been showing me, haha!  It is beautiful.  I only was able to take a quick glance, but it looks like a marquise cut diamond set in white gold with smaller diamonds around it. I thought about sending him a link to the square cut ring you showed me, and then  thought, why?  I remember that you had mentioned to me a few weeks ago that you told him to just pick out a ring for you.  So...he did. ; )  Dad and I think that is really sweet!  O.k. - now the waiting game begins!

November 18th, Sunday.  Today was our family Thanksgiving celebration!  Turkey and all the fixin's, plus the traditional new Christmas ornament sitting on your plates.  I think Nathan liked the ornament I picked out for him.  O.K.. ..this keeping it all a secret thing isn't going to be easy.  I sent Nathan a text earlier today that said..."Do you want to propose today?  I am only half joking."  I hope he was amused.  I am going to keep this proposal thing a secret, even if I burst an artery in the process. ;  ) It was a good day.  I think Nathan fits in well around here.  I think it is good that you are getting your siblings input and still praying for the Lord's direction for you and Nathan.  He’ll lead you!  He promised.  I know these days are full of questions for you and I pray often for clarity as you two look toward your futures. 

November 21st, Wednesday.  Today was interesting!  Recently, I asked Nate if he minded if we looked into some potential wedding venues, since the proposal was now just a matter of time.  He said that woud be fine.   I have spent a couple afternoons now e-mailing, checking possible dates, costs, etc.  Booked!  I can't believe how many are already unavailable or way out of our price range for a Fall 2013 wedding.  I tried hard to find the time for a couple tentative visits while the weather was still nice.  We set up a couple appointments with the few venues that had a  date or two open.  (I think I shared most of this info. with you...seems like you and I are "on the same page" - outdoor venue, wedding and reception in one place, etc. I really am excited to plan this with you and Nathan!)  Out of the blue, Bruce from Bryn Du Mansion sent me an e-mail today and said that they did have many openings for the Fall, but they were booking up fast.  Would we like to stop over today and see the place and the dates open?  Crazy, I thought.  I'm already feeling a bit of an emotional roller coaster because this afternoon is Eliana's Memorial Service at her gravesite. I cannot believe it has been a year since we said  "good-bye" to our sweet granddaughter.  Well, as it turned out, you came home early from classes and Dad happened to have a free afternoon!  It was sunny and you know the rest. ; )  Even if the Mansion doesn't work out, this was such a fun couple hours for us.  I can't believe how much you, Dad and I loved the place!  So much history there and such a beautiful venue!  I enjoyed coffee with you two as we discussed the place, and I believe it was you that said, "I don't need to look any place else.   We'll see what Nathan thinks." Wow - I thought, could that be possible?  Our first place we look at?  That would be such a blessing from the Lord to have all that potential research out of the way. ; )   

November 28^th, Wednesday.  Oh what a funny conversation you, Michaela and I had this afternoon around the kitchen bar.  A Tiffany’s catalog came, plus a Kohl’s advertisement that had some engagement rings in it.  Much to my surprise you said:  “Mom, what do you think of a marquise diamond?”  Trying not to look happy at all, I think I said, “I think it’s a very pretty cut.”  My mind tried to remember what the ring looked like that Nate had already purchased.  Hmmm…this is going to be fun.  Any ring will be beautiful on your hand, but I’m secretly so excited to see what you think of THE ring!

November 30^th, Friday.  Another funny comment today from you:   “Mom, do you know anything that Nathan is planning?  Has he talked to Dad?  Maybe you should talk to him.”  Once again, I ask forgiveness for telling you an outright falsehood.  I think I finished with: “I’m sure Nathan has a plan."  (Another e-mail from Bruce this week, 4 or 5 dates that were available were booked.  I am hoping Tami, Rick and Nathan can see it and give a "thumbs-up" or down. This waiting stuff is hard!)

December 5^th, Wednsday. What a fun day this has turned out to be!  Tami and I secretly e-mailed each other and made plans to visit Bryn Du Mansion today.  The goal was to get her view of it, and even potentially put down a deposit for the Fall.  She said the guys schedules were too busy right now but that she could go.  She said that she had a feeling if she loved it, the guys would too!   Well…she loved it!  The deposit  thing?  Not yet.  Nathan let her know that he wasn’t ready and that he wanted things to go in order:  graduation, engagement, setting a date, venue and then a deposit.  Not going to lie, at first I was disappointed.  Dad and I had both felt confident putting the money down to reserve a date (I REALLY want you to be able to have your favorite place!) But the more I think about it, the more I know I needed the reminder to TRUST GOD!  He has the details all figured out and it will come together if it is supposed to be.  SO…I’m just glad Tami and I had the time out to visit, see the place while the weather was still agreeable and then have some time to visit at River Road Coffee House for a little while.

December 6^th, Thursday.  We so enjoyed dinner with you and Nate at Bel Lago tonight!  I cannot believe you are going to be 22 years old tomorrow.  It’s a great time in your life!  You two are so cute together.  I know a lot is going on for both of you and Dad and I are experiencing some challenges too, however, I am reminded again that each day is a gift from God.  Praying for both of you often these days!

December 12^th, Wednesday.  One word, “meltdown”.  I came in your room, totally not meaning to cry or spill my guts.  It is finally dawning on me that you MAY BE GETTING MARRIED!  I didn’t think it was going to be this difficult.  I can’t believe how happy I am, yet sad too!  I know this is a temporary feeling and I’m glad that you seemed to take my tears all in stride.  Nate is a good man.  I know God is working!

Thinking back on the last month or so, it has been so exciting to watch God work in us.   In you, in Nate, in Dad and I.  I’ve long ago let go of my feeling “I can never measure up to Tami.  I’m a mess right now!”  I’ve also let go of the notion that plans have to be put in order at a certain time.  The Lord is in control and whatever He has planned will be perfect!  It has given me so much peace as you’ve been learning to trust Nathan too.  I think him telling you plainly, “I have a plan.  Trust me!” has helped so much.  Originally, he told Dan his plan was to propose to you in January in Colorado.  I wondered if he would change his mind, if he knew you were suspecting a ring then, but again – I’m just excited to see how this all plays out! 

December 28^th, Friday.  What a wonderful Christmas we’ve had!  I’m so glad that Micah was finally able to meet Nate.  It was really fun keeping the secret of your present too!  Nate and I had been in contact several times about the details of getting you the iPhone.  What a sweet gift!  What a fun hunt to find it too.  Michaela and Nathan seemed to have a lot of fun planning the scavenger hunt out.  And I must say, Nathan looks really sharp in his dress coat! 

Funny e-mail came today from Bruce, at Bryn Du.  I had written him briefly to wish him a happy new year, thank him again for the two tours and assure him that we were still interested in booking the Mansion, but that we were waiting on the “official proposal” and final approval from Nathan.  He wrote back:  “Happy New Year. This Nathan must be a romantic guy with a plan!  There are a few dates open at the Mansion in September and October.  Keep in touch!”    Kind of made my day.  Whether the Mansion works out or not, it has been a fun and informative venture.   It made me think of Romans 8:28.

January 8^th, Tuesday.  I made a little purchase for you last week and will send it with Dad to give to you in Breckinridge.  It is a wedding planner!  Funny, just yesterday on our impromptu trip to Starbucks and Target, you mentioned that you wanted to get one once you were engaged.  So many great events of the past couple weeks:  Lots of visits from family and friends and Nathan’s graduation and party on Sunday.  You must be so proud of him!  I know we are.  I am so enjoying getting to know Tami via e-mails and texts.  What an awesome family Nathan has!  Sarah, Todd and the girls, Jen and Alex – Grandma and Grandpa Smith – really wonderful people that love the Lord.   It was so fun for me to get to know a few of them.  Rick and I were in the kitchen at the party and we exchanged a quick hug and I congratulated him on Nathan’s graduation.  He told me how much they were looking forward to a phone call from Nathan from Breckinridge! I agreed.  I cannot believe Colorado, and a proposal, is a mere two weeks away.

January 16^th, Wednesday.  This, my dearest Danielle’, will probably be my last post to you.  I hope to print this off tomorrow and send it with Dad to give to you in Colorado!  Goodness.  What a fun, crazy and unexpected few months we’ve had.  Every time Nate comes over, I sense more and more – he is the one God has designed for you from the beginning of time!  You two have grown in so many ways.  It has been so exciting and yet so incredibly bittersweet! I think I know now, how my parents felt when they met your father.  It’s a gift, this thing called life, Every. Single. Day.  If you are reading this, then you have a beautiful diamond ring on your finger and a huge smile on your face!    I wish I could be there to witness it all, but we’ll see you soon!  I love you with all my heart!  I look forward to planning your wedding day with you and sharing every moment up until then.  Now, please give Nate a hug from me and give him this message:  “I did it!  I kept your big surprise a secret!  I look forward to getting to know you as a son –in-law and sharing life with you two as a couple.  Thank you for being so wonderful to our Danielle’ and most of all for trusting in God’s plan.  It’s all GOOD!”   And now, please go give your father a hug and tell him how much I love him.  He’s going to need one.   :  )

P.S.  This new wedding planner?  It has a story.  I hid the original one I bought you, and I can’t find it.  SO…made a trip to Barnes and Noble and found this one last night.  I kept the receipt so you can exchange it if you find one you like better.  So…Let the planning begin!  Oh, you may want to call or text Bruce at Bryn Du at 740.404.4215 (cell)  or 740.587.7053 (mansion).  I think he may be expecting a phone call from you.  : )    If Bryn Du isn’t your choice, we’ll write another check!  Love you!!!

 

 

So Long, 2012.

Jan. 1, 2013.

Dear family and friends,

“Write your trials in the sand and carve your blessings in stone." Unknown author

I’m quite sure I’ve posted that quote before, but it seems especially appropriate as I sit down to write our annual "Happy New Year!" letter to you. It's actually the first day of January, and as we say "hello" to it, we are saying "good-bye" to Zac heading back to his base today.  Micah will leave in a few days.  It was great to all be together and I am once again thankful for a family photo with all of us present.

Thank you for all the beautiful Christmas cards and family photos that have come to our mailbox this year! I don’t know how you all remain so organized and on top of this season of photos and deadlines, parties and gifts. Oh well, a friend of mine reminded me that we are still well within the "12 Days of Christmas" leading up to Epiphany on Jan. 6th. So...it's all good! I do hope that your Christmas season, however long, was full of all things good and meaningful.

 Looking ahead to 2013 is an exciting venture today!  Like most of you, 2012 held many awesome blessings and a few various trials along the way. It was a year of healing from the loss of Eliana for Caleb and Amy.  We still miss her.   Nathanael and Jen began their journey toward adoption and it is possible they may be blessed with a baby as early as this spring! Some of our blessings came in the form of accomplishments, like Zac and Micah finishing Boot Camp in March and entering their training in Aviation. They are currently stationed at the same base in Jacksonville, S.C.  Nathanael, Jen, Caleb and Amy enjoyed some promotions in their work environment while Seth and Danielle' finished up their year of college while also working at their respective jobs. Jon-Mark worked a couple different jobs this year and Michaela entered her junior year of H.S. Dan's business had its share of struggles, but ended the year with a profit and a potential project on the horizon. The AMPS employees are amazing and we constantly see the hand of God in this venture.  My  accomplishment?  Joining our local Y.M.C.A.  It was time.  We were also blessed as new relationships began this year as well as old ones being rekindled. Danielle’ has been dating Nathan Smith for 8 mo. now, and Micah has been dating Kat Chang, also a Marine in the aviation department. It has been fun getting to know Nathan and his family, and we were delighted to meet Kat when we traveled to S.C. for a quick Thanksgiving visit with the guys!  Last, but not least, the blessings of belonging to our local church was multiplied many times over this year.

As far as the trials, we will keep trying to learn from them as we symbolically write them in sand and allow the current to wash them away. Our trials were minor when compared to so many of our friends and family this year. Some of them lost a child, spouse or parent to death while several others lost their job of many years. A few experienced a painful divorce. Others faced seemingly insurmountable health problems and weeks in the hospital. Thru it all, we witnessed the hand of God enabling each one to persevere and grow stronger.

In closing, I'd like to share a book I just received for Christmas. "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. Only two chapters into it, I've already made my new year's resolution, which is to be more thankful. The title comes from a season in her life when Ann challenged herself to write down 1000 things she was thankful for.  I’m setting out to do the same this year.  Would you consider joining me on this challenge? You can find Ann's writings at aholyexperience.com.

                                                                                                                                  

My journal and pen are already beside my bed, and I figure if I average writing down just 2 or 3 things a day that I'm thankful for, my 2013 will close out with a new perspective of finding  beauty in the ordinary as well as the extraordinary. I've complained far too much this year, and this book in my hands was most certainly God ordained. It's all about new beginnings and redeeming the days we have left! As I try to do just that, I hope to record the things I should be grateful for every day.   I hope to take more time to sit and really listen to friends and family, less time tackling projects that ultimately do not matter. I hope to enjoy the moments with my three remaining kids at home, instead of mentally exhausting myself thinking of all that I'm not getting done. My hope is to find the good in situations, rather than focusing on the negatives. I will strive to pray more, and complain less about our current political situation. I hope to spend more time sending cards and pictures to our aging parents, and less time organizing the stuff that ends up disorganized anyway. I hope to devote more time to having lunches or coffee with our adult kids, less time shopping or wasting time. By year’s end, I hope that I've enjoyed more time watching family DVD's or making memories playing games rather than watching meaningless shows on T.V.  I’m already planning to carve out more time for some romantic, impromptu dates with my Dan, rather than spending those moments on the phone, e-mail or facebook.  Most importantly, I hope to spend more time in the God’s Word just being still and allowing Him to speak.  Yes, there are MORE than 1,000 gifts to be grateful for. 

If you are reading this, you must be a friend or family member, and so I'll end by thanking YOU for all you've meant to us this year! May God bless you and keep you, and may you grow in His grace and strength.  Colossians  2:6 – 7.

Much love from our home to yours !

Debbie (and the Frederick family)

"You're Not Getting Older..."

"...You're Getting BETTER!"
At least that is what the commercial in the 70's used to say. Yea, right!! I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm getting "better", at least not physically or mentally. Perhaps spiritually, because by the time my birthday rolls around I am one year closer to being with my Lord! The last time I wrote in my blog on August 19th, 2010, I was 49. Well, just one day shy of 50. And now I'm 50 PLUS! My guys used to say, "What the blazes???" I'm constantly amazed at how the days turn to weeks, the weeks to months, and well, you know the rest. It seems I just start consistently writing the RIGHT year on my checks and then it changes on me.

Well...it's time to start writing again.
I have no idea what I'm going to write about, so I'll start with the most current and work my way backwards at some point. So, currently I am eating a large arugula salad, with a whole chopped tomato, half a cucumber, gorgonzola cheese and light Italian dressing. I'm enjoying a small glass of Moscota (mmmm....)and enjoying the singing of Paul Potts. I have a special velcro arm band around my left elbow (tendonitis) and a custom, padded cushion on the ball of my left foot (morton's neuroma). At least I balance myself out. I've cheated on my "weight watcher" points today. (Did you know that a Pot Pie is 11 W.W. points? Whoa!) I have successfully avoided my laundry for about ten days now. I started reading "The Vow" - just for me! John and Michele treated us to the movie this week, and I'm already convinced the book is far superior to the screen version. My 72 year old Mom, brother, sister-in-law and niece are in Hawaii this week and I'm so happy for them! Someday I'll go. Dan wanted to take me a few years ago, but I'm afraid of flying over large bodies of water. I've decided I need to get over that. Today I've been thinking about making a photobook from last weekend, when Randy and Amanda came for a visit. It was so much fun! We had brunch here for 22 people. Our extended family, which I absolutely adore, is really loud and we eat a tremendous amount of food. I'm so relieved that my Dad and mother-in-law, Shirley, are doing so much better with their health challenges. I've been spending alot of time in Hebrews lately. My favorite devotional currently is a book Lisa Crouse gave me: "Take My Heart, Oh God". I guess that is enough current stuff on me.

Danielle' just returned from work and put a bunch of coconut oil on her head (helps with the dryness?) and she's foraging for food. (Watch, she'll be making popcorn soon.) Michaela needs picked up from Natalie's pretty soon, so this entry will be short. Seth, Moke and Zac Green are at Snowtrails snowboarding for perhaps their last time this season. I'm predicting that Moke will be grumpy tomorrow. Dan is doing what he has been doing for months...working!!! He is heading out on a trip tomorrow to Indiana. However, we did steal away several hours to walk hand-in-hand around the "Home and Garden Show" today at the Fairgrounds. It was definately a fun, romantic date. We have lots of ideas! (For the house) Oh dear. We've found that generally speaking, we may have the time, but no money. Or the opposite, money but no time. Still, we've completed a lot of remodeling this year and I'm very grateful. I will have to learn how to post a picture on here.

Oh, and Gunner and Quinten are running around here like kitty idiots. We love these crazy cats. I've decided that people that don't like cats obviously never had the good forture to live with a great one, like these two.


The BIG news of the day is that we think that our middle sons will now be referred to as: PFC Micah and PFC Zachery Frederick! The 13th and final week of Marine Boot Camp began at 2 a.m. Thursday morning as they began their march into the infamous 54 hr. grueling "Crucible" If all went well, they were awarded their new title this morning around 9 a.m. How I have missed these guys. Usually I am awake sometime around 3 a.m. praying for them and their platoon, and wondering how their day was. "Was that Drill Instructor nice to them today?" : ) They've sent so many letters that will be treasured by me always.

So much going on with Nathanael and Jen, Caleb and Amy. I could write an entire blog about all the things going on with them, but just for this short blog, I'll say that I'm so incredibly proud of the godly, young couples they have become. It never crossed my mind that I would enjoy my adult children so much. I truly consider them among my closest friends and love them so much. (As I do all my kids...it's so great being a Mom.)

Last but not least, our first grandbaby, Eliana Rose went home to be with Jesus on Nov. 21, 2011. Again, I could fill another entire blog about this tiny, sweet babe that left this earth at the young age of 22 weeks, 2 days in Amy's womb. As Danielle Niemann said of her baby Madeline, "Her life was short, her impact great." I think about her every, single day, and imagine what it will be like when I finally get to meet her in heaven. We've all shed many tears over this little one, but we've learned so much about leaning on the Lord in our times of sadness.

Here are some up-coming Blog titles I plan on writing about:
"Lessons learned from my Grand-daughter"
"My started..but not completed...Bucket List"
"What on earth happened to 2011?"

Until next time...keep your eyes focused on Jesus - THE AUTHOR and perfector of our faith! (The rest of us are just ramblers on blogs. ; )

Promotions.

(The following is a post that I began on my birthday a few weeks ago. I was distracted after I took a long bike ride, and didn't finish it. So...here it is - as often is the case - with my thoughts all over the place.)

If my memory serves me correctly, I will be celebrating my 49th birthday today! Happy Birthday to me. One year closer to seeing Jesus!
Yesterday, Malachi Preston, (aka - our dear little "fella") survived an invasive 8 hr. open heart surgery. I felt like I was holding my breath until I received Amy's text at 4:30 p.m. "He is all done with the surgery and they are closing him up. His heart is beating on its own! He is doing well despite having surgery. We may be able to see him in an hour or so. thanks for praying." Beating on its own. It's a miracle.
For some in the past few years, their miracle didn't come. It may seem strange, but in the past few days I've let my mind linger on the thoughts of those that have gone to heaven ahead of me. Especially those in the past four years: Dad, Krimson Hughey (24), Faith Thomas (6 weeks), Mammie (68 yr.), Jen's cousin, Corey (4 yr.) Jason Mansfield (22 yr.), Josh Gulvas (22), Sean (Funnel's boss - 22?), Chad Finnley (29), Ben Davis (29), Ryan Hickey (25), Kekeli Ayivor (4) and also my dear, Titus two friend, Vicky (58 yr. old) So many of those young men left this earth in the prime of their lives. Soon to join them (unless God intervenes) will be Sam Bish (9).

The dream weeks ago, about Keke, was such a gift to me from the Lord to remind me that heaven is a REALITY! We say it all the time, but it was like an "Aha" moment for me again. How wonderful it will be. In the midst of deep, searing grief, our souls can find hope and joy in what is to come.

As sad as it is for the families left here, the pain of this life is over for these loved ones. Someone once said that thru the pain of losing those that we love, we get a glimpse into the reality of heaven. I find much comfort in that today. Life is fragile, and it is temporary. These dear ones, loved by the Lord, were promoted.
It is good to walk with the Lord, thru the joys and sorrows of today.

Much Ado About Nothing

It has been weeks since I have been on here. Weeks since I have even thought about writing again. Everything has been happening. Nothing has been happening. "Much Ado about Nothing". (I know the book isn't about this subject, I just like the title).
Since I last wrote:
Several new babies have entered this world - Yea! I just love babies. It is new life at its' very finest hour! Welcome to our world: Tyler Fineley, Kaleb Thomas, Deacon Ericson and Maxwell Matney! Little babies - will be boys - will be men.

One little soul departed to his eternal home with Jesus. A funeral with a little, white casket is unnerving. Kekeli Ayivor left his mark on this world and I know that his life path certainly altered mine. Shortly after his funeral, I had a really vivid dream about him. Heaven was my home and I was walking around (that sounds so funny!) just being happy. All of a sudden, I saw this tall, handsome brown person walking toward me, with a smile as wide as his face. As he approached me, he held his hand out as he exclaimed quite loudly - "I'm Kekeli!" We embraced and then I woke up. Every time another one that I have known enters heaven, it makes it all the more REAL to me. I look forward to meeting Keke someday.

Currently, I am reading a book called "Becoming the Woman I Want to Be" by Donna Partow. I often misplace books and forget to finish them, so it is like finding a treasure when they turn up in an unexpected place. I had started this one twice before, and judging by the dates I jotted along the margins, I was struggling and rejoicing over some of the same things that I am today!

Part of the focus of the book is to become a woman that is thankful. I am taking that focus to heart and I am in the process of mentally listing things I am thankful for everyday. Here are my top ten for this day:
1. Summer breaks. Our Yellar is home from Boyce College and Michaela and Jon-Mark have finished their end of the year school tests. It's "officially" summer!
2. Our cat Gunner. He has become one of our favorite pets of all times. He is full of personality and so affectionate. I'm so glad I picked out a great Christmas present for Dan!
3. Logos Bible Church. The Pastors, the people, the things that I'm learning.
4. Impromptu Dates. Dan surprised me with a delightful one a few days ago! Not knowing where we were going, I dressed up (dress, heels, shawl). We went to Cap City Diner (crab bisque - need I say more?) and then to the theatre to see "Toy Story 3" in 3D! This was my first 3D experience. It was fantastic! We shared the theatre with 4 other people and I splurged and bought popcorn. Great movie! Great buddy.
5. Our Older Children. They make me laugh! (and cry sometimes).
6. Our Younger Children. They make me laugh! (and cry sometimes).
7. Our check balance. For the second year in a row, I have consistently had the funds necessary to pay our bills. THANK YOU GOD! If you haven't had the necessary funds available, you may not understand how wonderful this is!
8. Our new friends. Charles and Bernice, Adam and Ginger. You guys have blessed us with your lives, your laughter, your tears and your transparency.
9. Our pool. It has been in the 90's lately. Need I say more?
10. My bike. I have been out riding 8 times now. I'm riding between 5 - 11 miles either with Dan or Danielle. I love it!

Well, that's about it.
Wait, there is one more. I am thankful for this quote that was sent to me years ago:
"Love God and Do whatever you like". St. Augustine. I figure, if I am loving God, I will be loving the things He loves. If I love the things He loves (people, truth, character, etc.) then I will naturally learn to walk in a way that is uncluttered by rules and regulations. My heart motivation will be to live my life to the best of my ability and look forward to the day I'll be with Jesus forever.

"I thought I was the one with all the answers..."

"...turns out, I'm the one with all the questions."

Quite a story goes with the quote above from a very dear friend of mine. She grew up as a Pastor's child, had what most would refer to as a "good quality life": a college education, a man that loved her and became her husband, followed by the blessing of three children. One night it all changed, as a mangled automobile became the place that her husband died. Of the three children that were with him, one was not expected to survive his injuries. But praise God, in the midst of such terrible tragedy, he did.

When life "blind-sides" us, much as the term refers to in a car accident, suddenly I think we can all relate to her quote. It's easy to think that we have things all figured out, until we come face to face with tragedy or unexplainable circumstances that threaten to unravel us to the core. The advice that we can so quickly spout off to a friend can be true, but why is it so difficult for us to apply these truths to ourselves when we're in the middle of a trial? You know some of them: "just trust God!" or "we all know that this is going to turn out for good", or "I know you'll be stronger through this trial". As another girlfriend of mine jokingly said, "I have plenty of faith for your trial, why is it I don't the the same faith for mine?" I think these are really good things to think about.

I'll add more to this line of thinking later. Today, I'm concentrating my focus on the one that truly does have all the answers, and it isn't me.

"Therefore, We Do Not Lose Heart."

"Therefore, we do not lose heart." period.
It is Wednsday afternoon, 2/10/10.
As I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinet today, I found a treasure that I had forgotten about - a can of Italian Wedding Soup that I had purchased for myself and hidden away. I'm enjoying every bite of it right now as I sit and listen to another gem I found this week, my CD of Hymns produced by "Haven of Rest". Both of these are so soothing to my soul.
It's been a long day. I've been on the phone with Jim, spent time on the internet trying to find airline tickets to Nashville, plus submitted a story on Charles and Bernice to the Columbus Dispatch. (side note: I just found out that my arrival time and that of the twins coming from Ghana, is at the same time on Sunday night! I may finally get to hold those sweet babies!)
I chose to eat my wedding soup tonight in honor of my beloved friend Vicky, who I believe will be with her bridegroom tonight, or very soon. I can't believe the events of the past few days. The healing that we have all prayed for may not happen here - but rather in heaven. Bitter-sweet. For the first time yesterday, I allowed my mind to visit a place I had refused to go earlier. My friend may soon be with Jesus! I'm a mix of crying tears of joy and tears of sadness.

So many pleasant memories have flooded my heart these past few weeks. She, my Titus Two Woman, would never cease to smile when she saw me. She affectionately called me "Sweetie pie" or "honey bunny". She has given me advice on all kinds of things: herbs, decorating, home-schooling, parenting, being a dauther, mother, wife; but most of all, encouragement on how to be a believer in Christ. She led by example.

Why does Paul write to the Corinthian believers and tell them not to lose heart? In the previous verses he explains: (4:7 - 10)
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."

Vicky's "jar of clay" is almost unrecognizable as the Vicky I've known. I haven't been with her since mid-December, and even then, it was hard to comprehend what the cancer had done to her body. Another family friend is by her bedside now, and said that it is hard to believe what devastation she has endured. Nathan took a pic of her with a freshly, bathed Scarlett sleeping next to her in the hospice room, but Jim said it would not be posted for other's to see.

I'm so thankful that we can fully trust our Lord.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." II Cor. 4:16-18


2/11/10
The sun is starting to rise over the blanket of white snow that is almost blinding.
It is now hours later....I'm still waiting to hear..is Vicky with the Lord yet?
I was wide awake at 5:23 a.m. this morning. I think many of us are now begging the Lord to take our friend home, to indeed give her relief from her distress.
"Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.." Ps. 4:1

In the midst of our darkest times, it comforts me immensely that the day and night are the same to God. He is as close as the air that we breathe. As I was thinking of Vicky last night, memories of being with my brother as he died entered my mind. Death, it seems to me, is parallel to birth in so many ways. Like a women entering transition as she prepares to give birth to her baby, so it seems that those that are leaving this earth are also intermingled physically and spiritually in a transition. One's mind and spirit must focus on where they are going - what lies ahead. I know that Jim and Kermit (Nathan) had intentions of verbally telling her that it was o.k. to go now...that they would be fine. I think Jim said that he was going to tell her it was up to her and Jesus.

In the meantime - those of us here confined by human bodies and time go through the motions of life as best we can. I feel anxious, nervous and sad - but on the other end of the spectrum, I am SO excited for her, I can hardly stand it! As Paul reminds us in II Cor. 2:9, "However, as it is written; 'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived - these things God has prepared for those who love Him'".

2/11/10 Evening
As I was making last minute preparations before bed, I received the phone call I was anxiously anticipating, yet still dreading. "She went home to be with the Lord about 10 minutes ago. She is with Jesus now, her suffering is over." Jim's voice quivered, and then became strong. I thought of the verse I had been quoting in my mind so many times today:
"To be absent with the body, is to be present with the Lord."
Dear Jesus - she is with you!

2/12/10
After talking with Jim last night, it was decided that I would see if I could post-pone my flight until Sat. morning, so Jim and Kermit could get some rest, and begin to grieve in privacy. It couldn't have been any easier: a click here, a deleting there, and my flight was changed and I was issued a $40 credit! Thanks, Lord - He has a way of helping me when I'm so indecisive.
I'm still numb today. I finally was able to sit down and write a brief note about her on my facebook account. So many of my friends have faithfully prayed for her! I wanted to share with them what a wonderful friend she was. Here is my note:

In Memory of my friend Vicky ~
As I was packing my suitcase last night, anticipating my early flight this morning - my dear friend Vicky took her final flight to heaven. She passed from this life to the next peacefully with Jim and Nathan in the room with her. Although I am heavy hearted with many others right now, I am equally as happy knowing that her battle is over that she is face to face with her blessed Savior!


I used to call her my "titus two friend" and she affectionately called me "honey bunny" or "sweetie pie". She taught me important and serious spiritual truths as well as modeling for me beauty in the everyday: how it was important to have fresh flowers occasionally (even if we couldn't afford it) or how to redecorate a room by rearranging things and adding a few new pillows plus an inexpensive vase. Vicky Sue was the perfect southern belle! She always had time for me and would be the most gracious host, even if the kids and I dropped by unexpectedly. She answered hard questions, but wasn't afraid to say that it was o.k. to live with unanswered ones too. Whenever we would get together with the her family (Vicky, Jim and Nathan,who we affectionately named "Kermit") there would always be laughter. I will miss that laugh. More than anything, I think she showed me what a woman of faith looked like. Especially in the last year few years of her life, I observed a woman clinging to God in the midst of so many losses - her mother, her home to a fire, and eventually her health. I've learned so much from her and will miss her terribly.

Our loss is heaven's gain - so the saying goes, and I believe it is true. When I think of her, I honestly think of so many passages of Scripture - but the one that comforts and inspires me most today is found in Philippians 3:12 - 14. It's as if I can hear her voice in Paul's words before she left:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

You did press on, dear friend, and you have now received the prize! I praise God for your life!


2/13/10
I've decided to journal another day or two, before I post this entire entry. I'm working through the grief process like so many others at this time. I'll be leaving soon for the airport. I only slept about 2-3 hrs. last night...not sure why. This is a trip that will be good and yet hard.

Evening...
Made it! Scarlett (Vicky's sweet puppy) and I are sitting here finishing the Chipotle Kermit bought me for dinner. Jim and Kermit made it to church, which I think will be awesome for them. Because of Vicky's illness, Jim has been unable to attend for months. I think the guys are doing really well. Jim alternates between laughing and crying, which I think is healthy. He has recounted to me some of the painful moments in her last weeks of life. I can't believe I haven't shed a tear here (I think I'm all cried out.) When I was here in December, helping to care for her, it was so hard. She was in so much pain then. I'm so relieved she's with Jesus! He really has conquered the grave! Praise Him, someday the pain of this life will all be over.

I am reminded of her everywhere here ~ the decorating, her pantry staples that I organized for the guys (she introduced me to Almond butter - yum!), her stack of books and her beloved Bible. I held it close and thanked her for being such a wonderful, godly friend to me. Seeing her glasses touched me too as I pondered how Vicky saw the world. She tried to find beauty in so many things! Jim and I picked out an outfit for her to be buried in, which will be Tuesday. They found a small cemetary close by, and she will be buried without chemicals (embalming - I told him, is optional). I like that - it so fits her natural bent! He also told me that he is going to use a photo of her in her wedding gown, to be placed over the casket. What a wonderful idea - Vicky meeting her bridegroom! We must have been on the same page - remember me eating that Italian wedding soup? ; )
I'm so blessed to be here. It is a wonderful way to say good-bye to her. I will miss you, dear Titus-two friend, but will be with you again.

So This is What Love Is...

This Valentine's Day may turn out to be one of the sweetest I have ever experienced.

If all goes well, twins Elikem and Selikem (age 2) from Ghana, Africa, will board a plane in Accra and travel with a family friend to the bitter cold temperatures and twenty inches of snow in Columbus, Ohio. They will be here for one purpose, to finally be united with their family around the bedside of their dying 4 year old brother, currently being cared for in Children's Hospital.

Looking back two months ago, I had no idea the impact that this little family would have on my life. Back in November, I was immersed in the details of two other family friends that were also spending much time in Children's Hospital. Sophia Hope, who turned 2 just yesterday, has been battling leukemia since she was 9 months old. Another cancer fighter joined the place in August of this year, 17 year old Paula Winkler. She was anticipating a missions trip to Brazil with her family and unexpectedly found herself in the hospital beginning months of chemotherapy, also for leukemia. It was tragedy and hope that brought all these families together. Somehow, my family still healthy and intact, was blessed immeasurably as I became a part of all their lives.

Bernice and Charles Ayivor were also going about their normal lives in Accra, Ghana in the month of July. Their four year old son, Kekelia, came home from his last day of school with an unexpected and unusual problem; he was having trouble walking. Soon, his speech began to slur and his parents hearts began to sink. What could possibly be wrong with their active, vivacious little boy? No one could have anticipated what the next three months would hold for this young family. Keke would be admitted to a hospital in Accra with the diagnosis of a brain tumor. During the days, Bernice, now several months pregnant with their four child, would stay by his bedside as he suffered the effects of the tumor. For three months, she barely saw her then 18 month old twins. During the night, Charles would stay by his bedside in a modest, blue chair, often catching only a few minutes of sleep as he would lay his head on the foot of his son's bed. Keke shared a room with many patients, and so quiet and sleep was hard to come by.

Bernice's Father resides in Columbus, Ohio and works for O.S.U. Perhaps a Doctor in Children's Hospital would have the skills and necessary facility to help cure Keke? The little family made the agonizing decision of sending Bernice, Keke and his Dr. (who would return to Ghana immediately after the flight) in the hopes of finding a cure. Bernice, now less than two months from her due date with her new baby, would find the strength to stay at her son's bedside, and her beloved husband Charles, would continue to work as he could and care for their twins, or "tweenies", as they are lovingly called. The family was separated by an entire ocean - but did it all for the love they had for their Kekelia. Hope was high that a surgery could be performed, Keke recover, and Bernice fly home with him before the new Ayivor came.

Hope turned into saddness, as this young boy was placed in hospice care at Children's almost immediately. There was no surgery, no procedure, nothing that the Doctors here in the states could offer the heart broken family. From Oct. 31 until Dec. 14th, Bernice, and her father, hoped for the best at Keke's bedside. On Dec. 14th, little Klenam Ayivor made his entrance into this world - far from his natural homeland and his father, and twin siblings. Back home, visa's were applied for - by Charles and the twins. Charles arrived in Port Columbus on Christmas Day. He came and faced instant joy and sorrow as he met his newborn son for the first time, only minutes later to be at the bedside of his beloved and terminally ill son.

During those difficult days at Children's, Bernice found comfort and friendship with another family - Paula Winkler's family. It wasn't long before Tammy had placed Bernice's story on her caringbridge website - so other people could pray for these brothers and sisters in Christ that were so far from their home. And that is where I came in...first to correspond with Bernice via e-mail, then phone calls, and finally with a hug as we met for the first time. We marveled at how hope and tragedy came together to intertwine new friendships and bonds that will most likely, last a lifetime.

I have kept every message and e-mail from Bernice and Charles because I never want to forget this family, even when they return to their warm home in Accra. Our hearts have become bonded together first and formost, through our shared faith in Christ. I have been inspired by their strength and absolute refusal to complain, even though it seems they have a reason or two to do so at this time. They have shared their faith, their lives, their testimony and their hopes with us. We have typically had lunch together at the Ronald McDonald house on Fridays as I bring "Panda Express" in for all of us to enjoy. We've laughed over the cultural differences. (One day in November, very seriously, Bernice asked Tammy and I: "I must ask you a question: How long does this Winter last?" Tammy and I hated to break the news to her that our cold winter months were just beginning! I hadn't thought about the fact that they were unaccustomed to cold temperatures, let alone 20 inches of snow on the ground.) We've also become "facebook friends", and through that avenue, I've introduced her to many of my friends. Tammy has orchestrated a Baby Shower to be held for baby Klenam (recently rescheduled because of the inclement Ohio weather). We have come very close to crying together as we have pondered the outcome for Keke, if God does not choose to heal him. We have shared our mother's hearts and I have grown to love this beautiful woman as if I've known her my whole life. I am amazed at how quickly women, living lives thousands of miles apart, can have so much in common. On our last trip in, I gave her a turquise necklace and matching ear rings to remember me by when she returns home.

Today, a new crisis has arisen. 911 was called for Bernice yesterday to transport her to Grant Hospital, where she called me from today. Her rheumatism became so severe that the pain was out of control. I am praying that she is resting peacefully tonight, and that Charles is able to care for his newborn son with so many other responsibilities pressing on him.

In all of this, they have never complained. Charles said something like this: "I would have never chosen this trial for my family, but had it not occured, I would never have known the provision and kindness of God in our dire situation". It has been joyful to observe the body of Christ come together to help care for their physical and financial needs. It has been inspiring to observe the outstanding care that Keke is receiving at Children's Hospital. It has been heart warming to visit them at the Volunteer run McDonald Home, which has been their wonderful home, away from home.

As Charles and Bernice face their uncertain future here in the States, I can only imagine what must be running through their minds, especially in the middle of the night when they cannot sleep. Will their jobs still be there when they return? Bernice, an expert in three languages, has a job with the Government. Charles is a gifted artisian that creates and makes beautiful, custom leather sandles and shoes. We were delighted to see pictures of at least 50 of his creations! Months ago, he was employing eight workers as he ran one of the three custom shoe shops in Accra. He is now down to one employee. Hope is placed in God to help them daily, to provide for their physical and financial needs here, and that someday their life will be restored to some assemblence of normal once they return to their home in Africa. Everytime I am with them, our conversation always returns to their gratefulness - to God, to this kind country and to the body of Christ here in Central Ohio. I will never look at my "difficult" circumstances the same.

Just this past week, many of us were on the phone trying to make an appeal concerning a problem with the twins visa being denied (a long story - so thankful to report it was finally resolved). Resuming my normal school activities last Tuesday, I was reviewing some of the Ohio facts for my daughter. I came across our state motto: "With God, All things are possible". I wrote to Bernice that night and told her of our state motto, and my firm belief that she and her family were temporary Ohioians for a purpose. As I read her reply via e-mail that night, I could hear her beautiful African accent as she proclaimed: "I love it! Yes, we KNOW that with God, ALL things are possible."

Perhaps on Valentines Day this year, we'll see with our own eyes the reuniting of a family seperated by miles, but never by love.

The Character of God

There is no way that any mere mortal can begin to write about the character of God with any accuracy. I would only like to say that in the midst of trying times, it brings me great comfort to think often about His character, and less about the circumstances with which I, my friends, family or other humans around the world are dealing with.
Vividly I remember the Tsunami that claimed the lives of 29,000 people about six years ago. I am not sure why, but that event really broke my heart. We knew some college students that lived in that area, and one young woman was even in India at the time of the tragedy. Thankfully, she e-mailed us quickly telling about her safety. But the images of the children, parents crying, death and destruction littered everywhere - will always remain with me. I couldn't understand such devastation on such a large scale. It was then that the Lord began to softly touch my heart with the realities of His character, through the reading of His Word and through the testimonies of other believers. The Holy Spirit began teaching me about His righteous, loving, compassionate, merciful, faithful, trustworthy, holy and just character. Through the testimonies of others, I saw humans bearing out the truth of God's character in the midst of their most trying circumstances.
I'm thinking of that now as I read of Haiti and the consequences of this horrific earthquake. I can't understand such devastation on such a large scale, but I can spend time in the Word and leave all these things I don't understand with Him.
I cannot understand why my little friend has leukemia, or why a mere child should lay in a hospital with a brain tumor. I don't understand why breast cancer has the power to devastate so many women's lives.
But - either God is who He says He is, or He is not. I choose to believe God is exactly who He says He is.
I put my complete faith in the one that has it all under control, especially in this fallen world.
Someday, His Word promises that every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that He is Lord. He promises to wipe away every tear. I look forward to that day.
For now, we walk by faith and not by sight.

A Change of Plans -

How often has God completely changed your plans - put you on a completely different course? I know it has happened to us all.

This year there have been many such "change of plans" for some of my girlfriends. Just moving along, following their own business, living their lives, and BOOM - a huge change of plans. A diagnosis of a baby's leukemia, across the ocean in Africa, another diagnosis of a little boys brain tumor, a vibrant, 17 yr. old girl told- you have leukemia - a baby born with a heart defect requiring many future surgeries, and a diagnosis of breast cancer for a woman that is just starting a new chapter of her life at the enjoyable age of 58.

I don't know why God diverts our course, I only know that His way is perfect and we can rest in that even as we struggle to come to grips with the new circumstances in our lives. Just this past week, Sophia was awaiting a big test result that would show if the leukemia had returned. If it had, that would be devastating. It just so happened this was the day that I was to have lunch with Charles and Bernice. As they walked across the room to me, one of their first questions was, "How is Sophia, and Ginger"? Happily, I told them that the results came back with NO blasts - a huge praise - as the oncologist has told them to pray for a miracle! Both of these dear people were overcome with praise to the Lord for this wonderful news. Bernice put her hands in the air - "Praise God, oh , Praise God!" I was so touched by this couple. They are in the midst of severe trials of their own, yet they set that aside and genuinely rejoiced over good test results for another brother and sister in Christ. How can they do that? It is all God, they tell me.

Even in the middle of a change of plans - some things never change:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." He knows. Nothing is taking Him by surprise nor is anything out of His control.
We also are not seperated by His love as promised in Rom. 8:31 - 39.

I'm so comforted by that today. My small change of plans this morning resulted in an unexpected, sweet time alone with Him. (sometimes, when I cannot sleep, I give in to the plan God has for me at that moment. I can practice resting in Him and seek Him in prayer, for myself and others). There is no noise in this otherwise noisy home at the moment, save for worship music playing in the background and a wild kitten chasing paper balls here and there. I have had tears streaming down my face as I have reflected on God's faithfulness and love, so evident in lives of these friends listed above. Tears of joy intermingled with tears of longing for resolution and relief from pain for my dear brothers and sisters in Christ.

I'll copy and paste a message I just sent to some of them on Facebook - and remind myself not to fear any "change of plan" the Lord allows in my life.



Debbie Frederick January 17 at 11:33am
Change of plans - I'm home from church (with a migraine I woke up to at 6) and kind of "down for the count". At least the fourth round or so. I wanted to write something to you before I forget...I think of you as my "five fab" - my five girlfriends that are fabulous! I almost always pray for you at similar times.

I had just finished writing the "update" on all of you on my FB site, and I went to leave and reached in my pocket to a little crumpled piece of paper. I remembered that I had Panda Express with you (Bernice) and hadn't read my "fortune" from my cookie. I'm not a big believer in Panda's predictions for my future, or anyone elses - but guess what it said? "If you have HOPE, you have everything". I'll take it!
I am praying hope for each of you - as we know where it comes from - GOD!
Also flipped open to Romans 8:31-39 this morning. It starts and ends with: "What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ....
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
AMEN! Even when you are seperated from others, your loved ones, your "normal circumstances" - you are NEVER seperated from the Love of God!
I miss you all - looking forward to seeing you all again.
(April - sorry, I did have some food ready but didn't have the presense of mind to send it with Dan this morning. Perhaps we can swing by tonight? Praying for your sore muscles from moving!)
love to you all -
Debbie

Today - In History

This semester at Co-Op, I'm teaching a class on Current Events and World Geography. We usually start our class with a trivia session I call: "On this day in History..." It's always interesting and recalling these events about inventions, wars, speeches, etc. has surprised even me.

Today is one of those days for me. "On this day in (Frederick!) History...."

Three years ago today, we welcomed our first daughter-in-law into the family. I can't describe how happy that day was for Dan and I, let alone Funnel and Jen! I remember so many small details of that day...my girls getting ready in their bridesmaids dresses, our guests (family and friends) from out of state and our conversations, the way Dan looked in his suit (so handsome! that buddy of mine!), the beauty of the old church in which they married, the coolness and absurdity of the snow storm that day, the "Tigers" game being played just around the corner (the people of Massilon are sports enthusiasts, to say the least!), my nervousness over whether I would trip when it was my turn to light the candle, my mental images of Caleb and Amy getting married in six short months (they had become engaged the previous weekend!), visiting with Jen's Mom and Dad, praying Jen's grandparents would arrive safely, seeing the grin that would NOT leave Nathanael's face, and then...looking at Jen for the first time in her wedding gown. (she never looked more beautiful). I can recall these and other images of that day with absolute clarity, as this flood of memories swirls around my heart and head today! As Mary, the mother of our Lord, is recorded as doing: I treasured all these things and pondered them in my heart.

Seven years ago today, I began a journal to record some of the ways the Lord was caring for our family during our difficult trials. In my way of thinking then, I thought it would be a short journal. You know...God is going to rescue us from this situation, any day now! Wrong. It became the most lengthy thing I have written. It has become one of the most treasured possessions that I own. I began it with these words:
"It is hard to put into words the many thoughts in the heart! But fall short as they may, they chronicle our days; the joys and pains, the simple and complex events that comprise our days...It has long been a desire of Dan and I to journal events in our lives that have brought us a new awareness of God's presence in our everyday lives. The way He cares for us, provides for our needs ~ even the people He uses to bless us! (and how many there have been!) Each event and person is so special to us, that we want to pass these stories on to our children: (thus far: Nathanael, Caleb, Zachery, Seth, Micah, Danielle, Jon-Mark and Michaela).
We want to never forget God's goodness! It brings joy to our hearts each time we recall these times - times that have changed us forever as we have grown in our faith in the Lord.
(...for we walk by FAITH, not by sight...") II Cor. 5:7

Little did I know on that day, seven years ago, that things were actually going to get worse before they would get better. Dan would be diagnosed with cancer, we would come very close to losing our home, I would have a personal struggle with depression, people that I loved would die. But, also how could I have known the blessing that was to come exactly four years later on that day? Our oldest son would walk down the aisle of a very old church, and marry the girl of his dreams. They would later dance to the song "The Luckiest" - each feeling that the title fit them perfectly!

As I sit down now, it is an uncharacteristically quiet day. Moke is still recovering from being sick, Dan is in Atlanta on business for four days and the only commotion going on right now is Melee running back and forth in the kitchen. All day yesterday, something was "stirring" in my soul - lots of memories, good and bad. I was mentally writing many more chapters for the book I still intend to finish...and then it hit me this morning. That was exactly seven years ago today that the very same "stirring" was in my heart. I didn't remember the starting date of my journal until a few hours ago. I think it is kind of cool that it was seven years ago today - I like all the "seven" things in Scripture! God is amazing. I am constantly, utterly humbled at the ways He chooses to interact with me - a frail human being. Another "seven" connection to all this is the years that we were in the midst of our most difficult trial. It was about seven years: from the time around 9/11/2001 to appx. 6/27/2008. It was on our 27th Anniversary, that Dan received his first major check for his new company!

Looking around me today, I still see the consequences of our trials, but more importantly - I see the blessing. All praise to Him, He is restoring the years that were "destroyed by the locusts". He is restoring relationships and allowing us to grow closer in friendships, as well as within our family relationships. We are such sinners on a daily basis - I'm amazed that God even puts up with us. You certainly know this if you know us! But - He is guiding us, step by step, out of this pit that we were in! Psalm 90 has been a frequent quote of mine this year in my correspondence to others. I can't help it - it speaks to me in such a personal and profound way!
"Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God...
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.
May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.
May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us - yes, establish the work of our hands."

He did! He had compassion on us, He satisfied us every morning, He is making us glad again after the years of trouble! He is establishing the work for us. My new prayer now is: Lord, help me not to be a slacker!

Our years of trouble were so small compared to so many others trials, but it was real to us. It was painful, confusing and required so much of us. It seemed that it would never end. Slowly though, it did. I will write that book someday for our kids. I still feel compelled to do it - it is a work that He has established for me.

Today in History? I am thanking the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! I am going to hold tight to the memories and lessons that He has allowed to become a part of my personal history. And...I'm going to work on my book. : )

"I Will Rise"

Friday evening will be forever etched in my mind as an evening of awe and great saddness. I attended the Memorial Service for Joshua Gulvas, age 21, who lost his life in a hiking accident in Colorado on Sept. 12th, 2009.

Unfortunately, I never had the privilege of meeting this remarkable young man. I am friends with his mother, Shelley, and also know their daughter, Anna. We don't see each other very often, but we tend to pick right up where we left off. Shelley has a heart for the Lord that is intense, vibrant and contagious! When news came to me concerning Josh's situation in the Colorado wilderness, I was beyond shocked. He and his Dad, Rand, had only parted ways for a short time at the end of their hike. Josh never made it to the rendevous point, and from Tues. evening until Friday afternoon, his parents, family and friends lived through a nightmare that I personally cannot even imagine. Word went out via news, radio, cell phones and the internet. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of believers were all praying for his safe return. That safe return never came. We ALL had hopes that Josh would be found alive. When his body was found at the bottom of a 300 ft. cliff, it sent shock waves of disbelief, questions of "why now? why Josh" through hundreds of people.

I can think of few things that "rock" the soul of a believer more than unexpected tragedy. We all know that accidents happen, that isn't the issue. But it is one thing to KNOW that things happen, and yet quite another to experience that on a personal level. At one point in the Memorial, it was shared that Rand had a response to the comment: How do you deal with such a tragedy? He responded that if Josh DIDN'T know Christ, that would have been the real tragedy. What a courageous response from a father whose heart was breaking in two.

This service was powerful. It actually reminded me of another Memorial Service that we attended almost exactly a year ago - yet again another 21 year old christian young man that had died in a car accident. A young man engaged to be married. Josh's Memorial was a perfect blend of true worship to the Lord, in the midst of searing grief and human loss. Earlier in the afternoon, the family had already been present in a private ceremony where Josh's remains were laid to rest. The evening was reserved for family and friends to come together to remember Josh's life.

The sanctuary at New Life Church was full of pictures of Josh, surrounded by many of his personal things. His "scrubs" with the badge - "Otterbein Nursing Student", his well worn jeans, lots of pictures, pictures of him being kissed by little Anna, a large canvas picture of him pointing to his "No. 4" jersey from soccer, his guns, soccer balls, frisbee's, favorite books and old tennis shoes. It felt strange to be among his personal "stuff", but it also felt comforting to know that these things would comfort his family in the long days and weeks ahead. A small reminder of the Josh that was here on earth, who is presently in heaven.

Worship music filled the building as hundreds of people sang:
"Blessed be your name
in the land that is plentiful,
where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name,
on the road marked with suffering,
though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name."

Testimonies followed by those that knew and loved Josh most intimately. A letter read by dear, sweet little Anna, ending with "you were the best big brother ever, and I will miss you!" An older sister's tribute to her little brother, so eloquently put to words by her heartfelt love for him. A life long friend that had the privilege of being escourted to her prom by Josh (when her previous date suddenly cancelled). Grown young men, reduced to tears, cracking voices and quivering hands. Men that had funny stories about the adventurous Josh and also the prankster Josh. Serious paragraphs were read also, about how Josh's life showed the love of Christ in his everyday actions and words, and how these actions and words had served to challenge others in their walk with Christ. After each testimony, Shelley and Megan would rise from their seat to offer their quiet "thank you's" and give each contributor a long embrace. At the conclusion, Shelley couldn't keep herself back, and stood at the podium herself, Rand right at her side. She gave the final, unexpected tribute, when she said that she couldn't sit there and not tell us what a wonderful son Josh had been to her. She said that she was the luckiest mother alive - and that she would miss him everyday for the rest of her life. (She made me laugh when she said..."On mother's day, some of my friends would get a paragraph from their son, and Josh would write me three pages!" She barely made it through her tears, but at last admitted that a part of her had also died with him that day, and nothing would ever be the same. I don't believe there was a dry eye in the sanctuary, that literally held hundreds of people.

Another song was sung:
"I will rise, when he calls my name; no more sorrow, no more pain!
I will rise, on eagle's wings, before my God, fall on my knees, and rise...
I will rise."

As the song began to cresendo, it felt as it the Lord allowed each of us there a very brief, small view where Josh was now, where we would be some day:
"I hear the voice of many angels sing, Worthy is the Lamb!
And I hear the sound of many voices sing - WORTHY IS THE LAMB!"
It is the strangest thing to have human tears streaming down your face in grief,
and yet your soul rising to the heights of joy just THINKING about being with Him!

The place was perfectly quiet as a picture montage of Josh's life showed on two big screens at the front. What a sweet little boy he must have been! Pictures with family, with friends, being silly, being sporty. The last dozen or so photo's showed Josh and Rand on Sept. 5-6th on their hiking trip in Colorado. The scenery was indeed breath taking! One photo I will never forget, showed Josh at the top of a large cliff. His hands were outstretched and the sun was shining behind him as he stood there all alone - basking in the contentment of being in that rugged, beautiful place. Little did he know, little did anyone know, that that would be the last picture taken of him here on this earth. It was eerie and it was serene. The Lord knew that Josh would be with Him soon.

The evening closed as the family came forward and close friends and family encircled them as we prayed for their comfort that night and in the many long weeks ahead. Sobs broke the silence from time to time as the grief overflowed from one family member to the next. I appreciated those sobs, in a weird sort of way. When death comes and believers ONLY celebrate the life of the loved one who is now in heaven, it leaves me confused. What about the grief? What about the mourning? Isn't that a very real part of death, even for those of us who know that we possess Jesus, the resurrection and the life? Even Jesus wept. We can rejoice that our loved ones are in the presence of Jesus, but we can also wail and mourn that we no longer have them here with us on this earth. We grieve not for them, but for us.

I am reminded again of the berevity of life. Life is a fragile gift, each and every day. "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Ps. 90:12
Thank you, Joshua Gulvas, for living your short life to the fullest and for being a Christ follower that pointed others to Him. Thank you, Shelley, for being my random friend, and for the brief times we've been together to laugh and cry about "life". Thank you, dear Jesus, for the comfort that only you can give. Thank you for paying the price for our sins, that we may be made righteous in your sight. Thank you, dear Father, that someday all these trials will be behind us, and we will forever be in your presence!